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The poll was targeting queer students, right? So when half of the survey's respondents identified themselves as bisexual, we're taking this as half of the College's queer populace, not half of the college's entire populace, right? I think there's a difference between self-identifying as bisexual and being identified by someone. If you think about the spectrum, at one extreme end you have straight edge, don't-touch-my-ass straight. At the other end you have flaming homos and big bull dykes. If you say that only those people on either end are "really", and that everyone that's somewhere in the middle is "actually bi/pansexual, not -/straight" then I'd say that 80% of our entire population, including myself, falls into the bi/pan category. So in that case I'd say the figure is low. However, I think people have the right to pick whichever label they feel suits them. It kind of bugs me when you said "Very few people self-identify as bisexuals although techniy, they are." Part of the purpose of the label we choose is to communicate our behaviour to other people. When I say "lesbian" I'm telling people that I am far more receptive to women than men. This change in the future, and in the past I have had good sexual and emotional relationships with men. Does this mean I'm techniy bi and *should* be self-identifying as such? I agree that 49% seems like an unusually high number of self-identifying bisexuals, and it seems like a positive thing to me. It says to me that more people are bucking the "assume you're straight" standard and they're acknowledging the fluidity of their own sexuality. As more people do this over time, I think we'll begin to more of a blending and merging of the queer and straight communities as the identifiers like "straight" "bi" "queer" "-" etc. become simply tools to describe one aspect of themselves, and hearing a label other than straight doesn't cause any waves in the conversation at all. Then it won't be an issue when someone changes labels now and again throughout their life from bi to to bi to straight, as they feel their attractions change, and it won't be a big deal. It won't be about whether someone is *really*. okmeet just added youThe abusive behavior during your marriage is still going on even though you're divorced., as I'm sure you know, is all about control. By ing you all the time he's trying desperately to on to some of that and you're letting him. don't!!!! You took a step in reclaiming your life by divorcing him, and that took guts, so don't stop now. Him driving by your house to "check" when you didn't answer is a HUGE tell! Putting on a show for your friends is fairly typical as well. It's purpose is to isolate you so you feel more dependant on him. And it's working. Tell him to stop ing you. Do you have? If so get them a cell phone that he can them on so he doesn't have to you. If he s your phone, don't answer. It's time for YOU to take control of the situation. It's your life, make it yours. If you do talk to him, don't cry. Chew on a towel if you have to but don't cry! If you do he knows he can still get to you. Would it be possible to change your phone number? I know that can be difficult but worth thinking about. Take the advice of some of the others and try to find new friends, ones that are all yours and support you (and not worry about his side of it). That all by itself can be very therputic. Just know that the more you pull away the more desperate he's going to become. It's the whole "it's gonna get worse before it gets better" thing. When he sees he can't control you anymore he'll most likely get more. Be prepared for that. We at the forum are here for ya, though. If you need to vent, build up some courage, or even confess something really embarassing, MOST of us are here to help and not judge. Good luck to you. Keep us posted! top online dating
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