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So my live-in boyfriend has a bad thread in his genes when it comes to women. During our 1st year, he was dishonest broke my trust over and over. I chose to believe his crying, his roses, his pleading and did not ask him to leave (I know, don't harrass me about that pls). So every few months he does something that raises a red in my gut. Most recently while he was driving he saw a woman walking on the sidewalk wearing teensy-weensy shorts he took some pics w/his camera phone and sent it to his friends I got pissed very disrespectful IMHO. Now I'm on the verge of just not caring anymore. We've much not talked for a few days. This morning I told him how I felt (. not caring, he is who he is, etc.), he stormed out of the house and here I sit I cannot concentrate. This is MY house and if I ask him to leave I'll need a p/t job to help pay bills. He does have a fun giving side to him, but this "faulty thread" when it comes to other women is just part of who he is (flirty, women friends whom I never met, etc). Guess I'm finally realizing he is who he is and it's probably time to move on eventually date a instead of a boy. Whew thanks for listening guess I needed to vent . thick Hanover Wisconsin woman looking for a big toolI know this sounds kind of simple but the first thing that Dr Spock says in his book when you have a cranky is to change location. So me being 36, I am putting this into practice that whenever the BF (age 47) is cranky, I take him from where most of the fighting starts, to perhaps outside under the, near the pool, out in the yard, back near the BBQ, Or on the sidewalk to check the mail box? Anything to lure him away from "Locus of Agita" to get a new back drop device going. And you know what? It is really improving the relationship. but damned the "Changing Location" method is really improving the day to day hour to hour existence. It can perhaps be by the baseball park across the neighborhood. But to be constantly in motion to change the distance of the agita- bring in a new scenery just changes his mind around. I am also doing More Spontaneous Things, (not always bedroom related ) to keep him happy. Doing fun stuff. Riding bikes. Trying new restaurants. Switching up the cooking routine. Also making the house more COLORFUL and BRIGHT. I also am bringing more musical instruments into the house. He plays guitar, piano, and sings, but I am getting small mandolins, dulcimers, little harps, a cornet, and other fun stuff for him to play with. I also am putting in more comedy in the DVD player to make the house more fun and we are laughing more. I am kinda of tuning out the bad news on TV, switching it off, and really focusing on creating a household of FUN! EXCITEMENT! Always a change up. Invite people over -make new friends make friends with neighbors. and you know what? His moods are better. He is more attentive. And is a better BF. and then (Get This! Everyone hold their breath!) then I tell him so. Things cant always be perfect but sometimes you have to set the STAGE, Set up the drama, and then you play right into it. lonely wife
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