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I turned it over to her and it was up to her to decide what she wanted. I imagine she had fears opening up to someone who wanted time from her but also it went against her ethics. I wanted her to know I was not a crazy who was gonna cause issues I just needed a friend. I had laid it all out for her to think about, turned and walked away there was nothing left for me to say. My immediate future was in her hands, although I figured that I would survive if she said no I also knew I would feel a sense of rejection. Rejection was nothing new to me but it wasn't much fun to experience, I suppose it would help me to grow and become stronger. I also realized that if it happened I would lick my wounds and that it was just no, not a prison sentence. I would just do what I probably should in the first place and find a professional to talk to. But I have a tendency to take the easy way and I had already achieved a semblance of trust with this relationship and didn't want to travel that path again if I could avoid it! I didn't want to seem desperate but I suppose in a way I was because I had no one to talk to and I knew that my growth required changes and that included trusting another, talking and sharing me. I wished for someone who appreciated the 13 year old that ached to come out and play and life. I wanted from life the ability to just be me without any issues. I didn't have a clue what the response would be I just knew I needed to try, because I knew what I had seen and felt. I knew there was some sort of loneliness there and my arrogance wanted to take it away. My arrogance wanted to make her laugh and feel the freedom I sometimes felt. The sense of freedom that didn't matter to me what anyone thought, I was gonna sing and dance! I was gonna joke and goof off. I needed to be around people like me so I went to a dance, plus I thoroughly enjoyed watching the women there. Standing there smiling at the thoughts going through my head I noticed someone come in the door. I couldn’t believe neither my eyes nor my heart as she walked in the door. She was alone, I was so amazed. I knew it must have taken a lot for her to walk through those doors. Fort Collins Colorado girls who wants fucked
Okay I am retired psychologist so I tend to talk about these things in rather direct ways. At 62 I still experience rapid sexual arousal, and firm and lengthy erections. Because my lovers have taught me well, it is very rare that we don't make to orgasm. My point is this that the dimunition of sexual drive after fifty is probably overstated and due in part acumulated changes in emotional functioning. Alpharetta webcam chatI want something that I don't want to want because I think I shouldn't want it since most people don't. I feel like my to be inferior to a woman is based on some psychological problem I have that makes me want to be inferior and makes me unable to succeed at things in real life. I don't want to be inferior to anyone, nor superior specifiy. When I was younger, I used to watch Trek the next generation. I wanted to be like the android Data completely devoid of the burdens of emotion (and later able to turn them on and off at -), unaging, essentially immortal and fully self-perpetuating and independent. Those wishes eventually morphed into a to be a simple watcher of the world, to life on the sidelines but not to interfere, almost like a ghost. Later that morphed again into the to experience peace, freedom, and to be completely independent and separate from the rest of the world but not isolated from it. I don't fully understand why you have ed me a selfish prick twice, but I understand that you perceive me as selfish because I have verbally focused on my desires instead of saying things like "I want only to serve/please XX person and to know what they want me to do, etc.." which would suggest I am more flexible in how the woman would use me to gratify her desires. However, I am not like that because I do not feel that of those bdsm methods fit me personally. I would never want to be with a professional sexual partner/dom/etc. because that completely eliminates the entire concept of ironic reality that I am both trying to avoid and trying to completely immerse myself in at the same time. I know I'm confusing. I confuse myself. If I was sure of what I really wanted and thought I could actually accomplish it, I would probably try to do so. What that comes right back down to is a lack of self-confidence. free cyber sex
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