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I'm just a jeans and t-shirt normally type of bloke. I dont kick puppies. I like ice cream. I have more than half a brain. I need to put on my socks before i put on my pants, or else i get all out of whack. "thats whack" is not part of my vocabulary. but when i come home from work and first see my dog, i say "what-up dog!" One of my biggest pleasures is making someone do a "spit-take" with a joke. i got an advanced degree and a professional job, but that's really not that important. i dont know where the coolest restaurants or, nor do i care. i can count to 31 on one hand. i love having my mind my changed.
i'm looking to meet a someone who i can talk to and enjoys an off-beat sense of humor. oh, and must think i am utterly funny. (ok the last part is not mandatory). there are very few things sexier on a gal than a sense of humor and spontaneity.REAL FEMALE WANTED ! m4w I KNOW THERE IS A REAL FEMALE OUT THERE LES'S SEE WHAT WE CAN DO FOR EACH OTHER ! BE CLEAN DISCREET AND FREE DAYS. WINDSOR TO AFTON TO SIDNEY TO WALTON TO DEPOSIT TO HANCOCK AND ALL PLACES NEAR. B- METS THANKS
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Things your guy will not do You would enjoy having a guy come over orally please you. You have your orgasum and he keeps his cloths on and leaves once you have it or multi. orgasums.
You would enjoy having a guy suck on your breast, due to the fact your lactating or just enjoy a guy doing that.
You are having that time of month and find you are really horny but your guy will not do it then. I will orally or have penetration with you.
You want to have a guy tied up and to enjoy punishing him.
You want to experience using a strapon on a guy.
You have other wilder things you want to do and want to find a guy willing to do that.
I am totally disease free, healthy, super open minded, nothing freaks me out so lets go for it. I am not over weight or one of the hairy ape type guys.
I am also super discrete. Chessington ga swingersJohnny Garlic's Hacienda Crossing Diagonal Stripes Girl m4w Okay, look I don't know if you are old, young, married or single but I know your whacky hair style and diagonally-striped poncho had my attention all night. Seriously, who wears a black-and-white diagonally-striped poncho?! You are *priceless*, lady!
And you *never even turned around*!
Seriously think about that for a minute. You never even turned around, and you /slayed me/!
I was /dying/ to see the other side of that person, this insane wonderful person who would dare dress this way in the cultural wasteland that is Dublin CA and I'm serious, I was going to harass you on your way out, to at least give you my number.
But (curses!) Tony the Bartender had me all preoccupied and when I turned round gasp you were gone! Oh gawds no, don't say it's true. You were already the coolest person I'd ever seen in Pleasanton (besides me, grin) and I hadn't even seen the front yet.
What a loss. I can't just leave it like that. Please PLEASE come back to Johnny Garlic's, or reply to me. I will meet you for dinner, give you my number to at your discretion, provide my resume and testimonials from other women anything, just let me know who you are I must know!!
Just ask your friend she was facing my direction, and definitely noted my reputed, bemused (actually, "inspired") glances at you. Yes, I am that dapper gent, the only one of my kind in (probably) a miles let's at least meet each other?
Please please come back to Johnny's just give me one more chance to put myself in front of you!
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