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logical. You don't trust her, even though you try, her telling you she has or has not is not really important since your concerns are more fear based than current facts. If things are good now, then your actions of stiffing up emotionally and physiy, when she seeks closeness, is a recipe for a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would not be concerned with the ex, but more so at maintaining a closeness with the wife. While you focus on the ex you are giving the trainer less scrutiny than would be wise under the circumstances. He is potentially the greater threat of infidelity given the local. Two thousand messages in a short period of time is an absurdly inordinate amount of messages; on top of that you say they work together. This is not to say you should focus on him, because he is not really the treat. The treat is the health of your marriage, if given the opportunity the potential for infidelity can come from any number of sources. You are as vulnerable to committing adultery as well, maybe even more so, even though you think otherwise now. Something is going on in your marriage that I am concerned with. You look outside, while the rot is already taking hold within. Two thousand messages, is a clear symptom of some other underlining problem. What that is, I don't know because you obviously don't know since your focus is outward when it should be inward. The underlining problem can be anything at this time without more concrete facts beyond yours; because what you have given is tainted with your own fears. It could be her, or it could be you, or a combination of the both of you. My money is on the third. You both are good candidates for some prophylactic counseling since you are in the early stages. don't wait until things go South. Your current fears, even if they are unfounded can and become a self-fulfilling prophesy. lonely gi here in Indiana
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