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“We have clients who are still under investigation, who are still having to respond, and in fact we have a client under investigation right now under suicide watch,” Sarvis said. “So ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ has not gone away.” Gates announced the change requiring the top civilian officials with the armed forces to personally approve “don’t ask, don’t tell” discharges after a federal judge in California ordered the military to immediately stop enforcing its ban on openly troops, declaring the 17-year-old policy unconstitutional. An appeals court subsequently froze the judge’s order until it could consider the broader constitutional issues in the case. Putting responsibility for firing personnel in the hands of the service secretaries was not designed to slow the rate of discharges, Gates said at the time. Rather, concentrating that authority was meant to ensure uniformity and care in enforcement at a time of legal uncertainty, he said in a memo outlining the new rules. Gates since has urged the Senate to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell” before a new Congress takes office in. He said this week he plans to release a monthslong study on how lifting the service ban would affect the armed forces and could be carried out on Nov. 30. need of assistance sext tradeMy DH was raised with old school values, as I bet yours was too, that to be a '-' means you are the provider. Not a bad thing, but trick in a down economy and it can really make a great guy feel low. I've made more than my DH for a while and we've had some similar struggles. I never really expected to be provided for, so this kind of caught me off guard. A few things that seemed to help 1. Realizing that the size of the paycheck is going to fluctuate. Just because he's earning little now doesn't mean it's not going to swing the other way in the future. I remember making a hands on the hips declaration once '-, you've never lied to me, or mislead me in any way. I knew what I was getting into when I married you and when I took those vows I was damn serious I meant that better or worse part. If you think I'm bothered by a fanatical hiccup, I'm really insulted.' 2. I also remember him never feeling 'worthy' of buying anything for himself. We ended up splitting up the bank accounts 75% of each of our checks go to the joint to pay all shared expenses, and 25% going into a personal account. We both feel better about splurging on ourselves with our personal money. 3. This is what probably helped him the most I'm a independent girl. Much like my DH, the thought of being 'taken care of' kind of freaks me out. But the fact that I do it a bit now really help ME feel less guilty in the future when the situation changes. When he's making more again, if I say-loss my job, want stay home with, or start my own business, I know he'll have my back the way I had his. It's a partnership. fwb sex
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