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I am just wondering what the women here have to share that would or wouldn't work with them. Fairly term girlfriend is more than happy to play with restraints and teasing but is so worried about taking it too far, it's impossible to take the whole thing seriously. She just backs off the second there is any slight show of "ok now this is slightly intense" that comes across Tried just reassuring before that there is a distance to go before there is anything to be worried about pushing, and tried asking to not worry about the situation being totally enjoyable during but just remembering what I said was fine to take it to. Now I've got only two real thoughts left- Do I write out a play by play and leave it where it eventually be found around our place with a note saying it'd be something I'd like if she at some point went all the way to where the scenerio I describe does or further, saying I want he to stop feeling so nervous about making a little misstep? Or, do I try to change the objective by saying that just to what happens, we should have one evening where she can pick a vacation for us the next weekend if she can push til I have to use a safeword, while also letting her know she'll have to actually try because if I don't use it, she owes me some agreed to favor that I'd really want to not lose out on? Not asking for there to be a need for medical attention afterward or blood to be drawn, just to not feel bad about hearing a little frustration or feeling of actual discontentment for a moment . free sex Dunbar West Virginia-'s thread and her concern (that I know has been shared by of us over the years) about sanity in the face of some let's admit it bat shit crazy activities that we choose to do, has me thinking about guilt, and self identification, and SSC versus RACK. For the purpose of this discussion, let's clarify that SSC means safe/sane/consensual and RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. One of the most important things that I have heard in my 4 years in the community is that nothing we do is particularly sane, but if we are aware of the risks and do what we can to mitigate them, we are doing enough. Hearing that from someone who was qualified enough to teach a class instantly made me remember all the times I'd worried about being crazy or how fucked up was my psyche that I craved/needed to be beaten and degraded. And I felt all that lifted. Ok, I'm not necessarily sane. But I am careful and all my partners consent. Why I want these things doesn't really matter because there is a wide world of people who don't have one shred of commonality with me, except that we like to be beaten and degraded. So it isn't my past and it isn't any one thing, so why worry about it. I am capable of having intimate, loving, otherwise "normal" relationships and I have found a way to have the most amazing orgasms of my life. What's wrong with that? I guess my point of discussion is whether or not identifying as SSC or RACK increases the burden of "am I crazy" we allow ourselves to. exclusive dating agency
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