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I was in a similar situation. Never considered leaving, but did consider an affair. Why? Because someone whom I found very interesting seemed to find me interesting. So a little flirting happened and it felt good. And then I had to consider how that could possibly happen after more than 20 years. I my husband, but I kinda lost me in there somewhere. I came here seeking advice, and it helped me to that I must be experiencing this crisis. We had become like roommates, dealing with day to day issues and not providing the emotional(and more) support for each other. I had to realize that if I thought he wasn't providing it to me, then maybe he felt the same way. I was confident there was no cheating on the other end we just lost how to be there for each other. So I had to suck it up and go to him and tell him what I needed. And my biggest fear was alleviated he listened and cared. I really was afraid that it might not have mattered to him, and then I would have to do something about it. There was no need (or intention) to tell him what prompted me to realize we needed the wake-up. And we continue to work on it. I do think about this other person, it is kinda a fun fantasy that is hard to give up. But I have arranged my schedule so there is only a slim of encountering this other person. I eventually be able to let it go. My husband and I chose to spend our life together, and we sometimes have to remind ourselves that we make that choice everyday. It is an easy one, because we do want to be together. We both have changed over the years. Luckily, we both are people who still like each other! Advice from here made it possible for me to figure it out before I destroyed what we have. And I continue to come back and read the advice of the regulars. Colchester Vermont that wont to fucki agree with the ladies she's already cheating and she's not going to stop cuz she wants YOU to end it. for the first time ever with my ex, i decided to give her a second after she cheated. we worked on the rapairing of trust, etc but it never got any better. she said a lot of the same things your GF is saying, acted in the same ways, and refused to my hurt feelings as valid. and nothing has ever hurt so much as leaving her hurt but it was for the best and i'm much better off without her. (*although at the time, i thought MUCH differently.*) :-) matters of the heart can certainly suck sometimes but sometimes the hardest decisions to make are the best ones of your life. good luck to you. i wish you the best. dating point
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