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It seems to me that, for example, in a V relationship (one person in the middle, the other two don't relate), each relationship find its own level, but most likely one person of the two on the ends of the V be primary most of the time. How can you shoot for absolute equality? Humanity is not that exact. It just isn't. Another side to the question you are asking is this: What happens to the longterm primary when the middle person meets another new partner who is suddenly the priority? NRE (new romance euphoria in poly-speak) is a force to be reckoned with. Longterm poly relationships usually have limits, reservations, boundaries etc. to guard against the loss of perspective that NRE brings. If the first person was the ONLY person, therefore the de facto primary, it must be quite unsettling to suddenly be secondary to a new person. Poly is very, very complicated and tough no matter how you look at it, and no matter where you currently are on the triangle or whatever shape the relationships take. lonely 30 huntington 30Find out and if you can in some way bring this back to him maybe in a smaller degree. If not then how about putting together something to show his past accomplishments, something that shows his worth. At that age they can feel unimportant. Change that with a portfolio or phot album. If he had hobbies earlier in life maybe you could get something in that line that he can do now, his hands would have to be in good shape most likely for that. Get him a day trip on a boat if he loves water. How about a day of fishing with small of the family line, if possible, he could teach them how to fish. Got to dig into his loves that he once had or has before you make a decision. don't guess on a gift just by seeing his surface. Also remember that laughter is key to a great day. horny mothers
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