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lonely mature in Johnstonville California CA Today i filed for divorce after 23 years, 11 months or marriage. High school sweethearts, now in our early 40's. I sex, so that wasn't the issue.. he didn't want it, and that wasn't the issue. He wanted someone yeah thats the issue. 5 years ago he fell in with someone he met through work. I caught him 1 yr after they got together, and he swore he would break it off, so I let him stay. 6 months after that, i caught him again. He swore it was only a phone.. 2 months later he told me he was unsure if he could ever get over her.. and went away for a weekend to "think" about it. He thought about it, and HE decided he wanted to date her while staying married to what his feelings were for her. I told him he was insane, and there was no way I was going to stick around for that. He broke it off with her again. That lasted maybe 2 more months. But I didn't catch him again until it had been almost exactly a year from first time. So like, 5 times that year.. that time i kicked him out. he broke it off with her again, and swore that was it, he was going to dedicate himself to working on our marriage. Of course by now, I have severe trust issues.. how the hell can i trust him after so times? But I tried.. I tried to let it go, and be everything he wanted, and shower him with and affection. Things seemed to be going okay, but last year, started downhill again. I tried to trust.. but then 4 months ago, he started treating me like crap again.. like he did when he loved someone.. so i finally forced myself to start checking up on him again. yeah, I caught him again. same woman, 2 years and 10 months after he moved back home. When i confronted him, he admitted they had actually been back together for 2 years. So.. he's basiy been cheating on my for the past 5 years So I was filing for divorce. He asked for legal separation, and I found out i can amend separation to divorce at any time so I did that, I don't want to fight, I just want this to end. My question is, how do I get over this I have poured myself into for almost 24 years? we have 2 grown, but I am by no means old, and I want a forever companion. I signed up for the forever, till death do us part package not this thing I have now. When is it safe to begin looking again, without burdening a new relationship with my baggage? fwb some one cool too chill and fuck just for fun no sex
The only thing you're doing wrong is not leaving him. Like Sphynx said one day you end up black and blue from this. Your ex sounds just like one of mine controlling, possessive, accusatory, loving one minute and cold the next. Eventually he become violent. You then figure out if the makeup covering the bruises is obvious as you go out with your friends (should he permit you to out with them still). You'll sit there hoping that your friends help you but too embarrassed to ask for help. So people here tell you to get out and it's not that we're mean or want you to take the easy way out. We look back and recognize the signs all too well and we don't want another person to go through the. It is so hard for to seek help or get out of the situation and beyond that it is just as hard to realize that you could be loved by someone not broken. Please get out, leave him and take time to appreciate yourself. Be alone and happy and eventually you find a who loves you and is not a broken asshole. just for fun no sex fwb some one cool too chill and fuck
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