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When it comes to sex outside the marriage, I have never looked at fair like we have to have the same level of freedom. In fact, equal freedom be completely unfair. Let me show you what I mean: If I am % of w/my wife sleeping with another person, and she is NOT ok with me doing so, and she sleeps with another person, causing me no angst, and I sleep with someone, causing her severe heartache/jealousy, then she had to go through the heartache/jealousy, and I didn't have to go through anything negative, therefore even though we did the exact same thing, it is NOT fair. Conversely, if my wife is ok w/me sleeping w/another woman, and I am NOT ok with her doing it, and I sleep w/another woman, causing her no pain/heartache, and she DOESN'T sleep with someone, thereby causing me no pain/heartache, that IS fair. Here is where it gets tricky If I am ok w/my wife sleeping w/someone ONLY if I am given the same freedom, and she is not ok w/me doing it, then if she does it and I don't, I get the heartache but she doesn't (not fair) and if we both do it then she gets the heartache not me (also not fair). If this is your situation, the ONLY right solution, IMHO, is for you to stay monogamous. seeking internal 12550
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