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I'm so glad he was willing to open up to you. You still need to create a safety net for yourself. Seriously. Sometimes people really and truly *want* to be better, to feel better, to do better but they can't. Be supportive but don't feel like it's your job to fix his depression. You could suggest taking walks together (fosters closeness, increases endorphins), volunteer together (doing something good for others, and boosting his resume), home projects like repairing walls and painting (not expensive but gives a serious sense of accomplishment), help him figure out ways to contribute in other ways (like taking over certain tasks at home) etc. By pushing to get out of the house together, you can help him when he is struggling to help himself. Strengthening your relationship should help his depression. Also consider changing your diet, taking a daily vitamin, and eating more veggies (sweet potatoes, spinach especially). Cut down on caffeine and alcohol. Try checking out the books '5 languages of -' and 'saving your marriage before it starts'. Yes, these were written by Christians, but my husband and I are Atheist and Agnostic and didn't find it to be hit you over the head based. These resources are inexpensive and really helped us understand one another better. With my ex, he didn't like himself very much and that turned into not liking me very much. I found myself practiy begging for sex and still being turned down. I tried to be 'perfect' as you mentioned in an earlier post, and became a doormat instead. I made his life such that he only had to come home eat, shower and sleep. He not be in the mood for sex, but perhaps yours would be open for mutual massages. Touch is soooo important for boosting well being. You both need it, though he not feel he is worthy. Find a friend group and get out more yourself. It's dangerous and unhealthy to make one person the center of your world. It puts far too much pressure on both people. Try dividing chores and tasks more evenly. don't do everything yourself, and create a budget you both can stick to. Ing lets you create as free saving accounts as you want, and a free checking account. is a good tool for tracking spending. Good luck to you both. With enough and work (both of you), you should be able to have a strong and relationship. tonight Seth 913
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