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But I'm kind of confused I'm not sure if I'm attracted to girls per se, but I feel more like I'm attracted to THIS one as an individual. I don't know. But anyway, I kept the emotions tucked away because the nature of our casual 'friendship' was never supposed to have emotions involved. But here's another thing that's messing with my head. She is engaged. And her fiancee doesn't know about the whole thing actually before all this, she told him that she wanted to try hooking up with a girl in general, and he shot it down saying that it would be cheating (which is understandable), and they never re-visited the issue. I feel guilty of being involved with someone who's attached because I'm usually a ethical person. So, I know that I need to remove myself from this whole situation, but I'm finding it difficult. I actually care about her now, and I know that if I get in too deep, it's just going to mess with me even more because she doesn't wanna get emotionally involved (neither did I but I can't help the way I feel now). Sometimes she tells me things like fights she's been having with her fiancee (has nothing to do with me or her bi-curiosity), and she'll tell me that she ended up crying, and it really breaks my heart to know that she felt sad. I find myself thinking about her all the time, even though I know I should get a hold of myself and back away from this situation. Sigh 51 yr old looking for playmate
I have a lot of girls interested in dating me. One currently living in new york who still tells people she has a girlfriend back in chicago. (She used to tell that to people here, but I didn't really care). Two other girls too have me as their pretend girlfriend while I just make excuses to run from them. They are all really freaking cute but psycho. Like clingy beyond hell. It's funny how they get territorial over me too. Again, it just flatters my ego and I continue to not care. These girls are all freaking crazy. They are the reason I only date guys. Guys aren't that complicated, and I it. But these girls are nuts! Where are all the cute stable girls hanging out? horny womens Georgetownand just do it. Hell you're 'doing it' now, just whining about it. So have your pity party but don't overstay your welcome. You're not alone lots of people have had to go through the shit. They know the drill food tastes like cardboard, you're wired all the fucking time and can't sleep but feel so tired you wish you could sleep for a week. You're stomach's acid, your head is fuzzy and you've got this pain in your chest that wants to crush you. How the fuck are you supposed to make it through this? By getting up every day, by doing what needs to be done. By getting the divorce OVER as as possible. You make yourself focus on the business of divorce and not the emotions of it..you take care in doing so because the decision you make in this fucked up condition impact your life for years to come. You find a way to be fair, nonemotional and firm as fuck. You find that last little bit of testicle left and you use it to out the details. YOU do the work. You figure out how to take care of yourself physiy because you're fucking basket case mentally and that is going to last a little while it's going to suck but you can play a role in how it sucks. You can make it shorter by 'powering through it' so to speak. Look, I'm sorry you're getting a divorce wouldn't wish it on a single person well maybe the Boise State kickers who missed those damn field goals the last two years but that's my fucking immature spite speaking where was I? Oh yeah powering through it. Dude, there are books, pills, exercise, therapists, friends..this hell hole all there so you can handle it. USE 'EM. But take care of the business at hand and end this fucking thing. Take control of it, manage it. Kind of kick in the balls ain't it? Know those other peeps who said divorce was really painful well now you know. The loser club isn't all pain and suffering life can be good but you're gonna have to get through this shit first so get to it. Or get shitfaced and a rebound just as well married mature
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