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OP, have you looked into options in your community? Depending on their special needs, could you find ways to get out of the house and change up your routines? I used to run a small day care home, and I joined a bowling team. Took the right along with me. We were "The Dizzy Blondes." The bowling alley provided day care at no cost, and I really came to look forward to those crazy Wednesday afternoons. Does your library offer a -'s hour? Is there a club, or a Y, that offers swimming or some other activities for special needs? If you have a car, you could take the to the mall and walk. Our community has a lot of mall walkers who walk early in the morning to get exercise in a safe, warm, well lit environment. Do you have parks, walking trails, picnic areas? Maybe they' enjoy flying a kite with you. Or you could plant a garden as a project. Tend to it for awhile every day, watch it grow, harvest it, and cook and enjoy their own fresh produce. I bet if you put on your thinking cap you could come up with some ideas. Also, check with social services and if there are support groups nearby. Consider an online class to keep your mind occupied. Maybe you could befriend someone in similar circumstances, even offer to trade off day care to give each other a day off from time to time. pilot in town for nsa funIt sounds like what you are most hungry for is validation. I know it sounds weird, but if you excersise, even a little bit, you not feel so exhausted. Since your little one not nap, how about you take that time of day when she/he used to nap, and take them both for a walk? Have the bigger one take turns pushing the stroller, wear some ankle weights for a bit of extra oomph, and work out you legs a bit. Also, I'd start looking for a part-time job, or some volunteer work. There's always someplace in the community that needs a helping hand. For instance, your local library might appreciate somebody to hold a -' reading hour in the afternoons. Your own could come along, so there'd be no babysitting expense. Most of all, it's your self-esteem that's being eaten alive, so I say it's time to fight back, with good feelings you create inside yourself. ;) adventure dating
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