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The abusive behavior during your marriage is still going on even though you're divorced., as I'm sure you know, is all about control. By ing you all the time he's trying desperately to on to some of that and you're letting him. don't!!!! You took a step in reclaiming your life by divorcing him, and that took guts, so don't stop now. Him driving by your house to "check" when you didn't answer is a HUGE tell! Putting on a show for your friends is fairly typical as well. It's purpose is to isolate you so you feel more dependant on him. And it's working. Tell him to stop ing you. Do you have? If so get them a cell phone that he can them on so he doesn't have to you. If he s your phone, don't answer. It's time for YOU to take control of the situation. It's your life, make it yours. If you do talk to him, don't cry. Chew on a towel if you have to but don't cry! If you do he knows he can still get to you. Would it be possible to change your phone number? I know that can be difficult but worth thinking about. Take the advice of some of the others and try to find new friends, ones that are all yours and support you (and not worry about his side of it). That all by itself can be very therputic. Just know that the more you pull away the more desperate he's going to become. It's the whole "it's gonna get worse before it gets better" thing. When he sees he can't control you anymore he'll most likely get more. Be prepared for that. We at the forum are here for ya, though. If you need to vent, build up some courage, or even confess something really embarassing, MOST of us are here to help and not judge. Good luck to you. Keep us posted! the massage happy ending double standardI resist the urge to go off on a political rant. Does your group have any high-end donors? If it were me, I'd try and identify which of them would be outraged by this and and ask for a specific donation from them for this purpose. Or is there a rights group in town? A lefty newspaper or radio station? Does your org have anything like a development staff person? (I know, I know ) A little extra outreach and prospect research right now could do everyone some good at the very least your org might make some new allies sex channel
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