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As the billions of you out there who live to read my posts already know I am a 50 year old virgin. Unfortionately I havent had a girlfriend before at all assuming you dont count the one I never actualy met but who the judge told me to stay away from or the bag with the glass eye who used to attack me when I brought her soup . Anyway I attribute it to looking like an obese orangoutang. Turns out most women are not into bestiality with a ginormous drunken primate with a small cock. However though I be classified as a complete puff of a virgin, technicaly I am not! I am infact a rampant stud as I have paid hookers to accept my repulsive pink, red and purple cock complete with a nasty hairy mole on the flank up them. However I have even sucked so badly at sexiness that I have even disappointed a trick turning crack ho. Last I hired a I found in SF and took her in my truck to a vacant parking lot. She had a weird shaped head I re and was fat as a walrus. Anyway, I pulled out Mr and she tugged at him. After 10 sad minutes, he still wasnt standing at attention so she changed hands and lit a smoke with her free hand. After another 10 minutes of horrid silence, a nasty squishy cock and both of us now looking out the window to the squidging sound of her fist somewhat angrily dragging my fiveskin 3 inches over my Gelmit and then slamming it back into my balls she stopped and we sat sadly arround my cock. "Fuck this!" she kindly said to me. "You must be a fucking fag give me my fucking money and fuck you" she added. Snatching $ out of my chubby fingers then flipping me the bird and storming off leaving me and my flapping about in my truck The moral of the story is that all that glitters is not gold. No thats not it. What I mean is that two birds in the hand are worth one in the bush. No thats not it either. Anyway, I think YOU know what I mean iso woman who is need of some fun tonightthe original puts me to sleep (or is it the weed?) the showtime produced musical version is hilarious. is a revelation and campbell is a treat as always. the dvd of the musical remake also features the original as a special feature, so kill both birds with one rental. sex chat free
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