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I run a parent support program for a very at risk population. I deal with a lot of these issues, including issues around incarceration. First, I would NOT bring him to dad in jail. A going through this much needs routine and stability more than anything. Not spanking, not lengthy extreme punishment, not leaping from sport to sport. R-O-U-T-I-N-E. He need to know what to expect, and this takes time and a heck of a lot of from you. For most, it takes at LEAST 10x of repeating a behavior until it's internalized (and if you slip up, it's like you are starting from scratch), but for a with ADHD and ODD, it's going to take more. Jumping from thing to thing only teaches him that if he causes enough grief, you'll give up that strategy, ensuring that he'll do it again. I would highly recommend the video 1-2-3 Magic. Even if you don't go with that particular strategy (though I've seen it work wonders for some tough -) it has some great parenting tips. When I extreme behavior cases, there are a few area we always look at positive reinforcement (there should be at LEAST 4 to 1 positive to negative communication), routine, diet and exercise. You wouldn't BELIEVE how much behavior issues are tied to diet and exercise. If he isn't getting at least and hour a day of sweaty, breathing hard play, while eating a good diet and cutting out sugar, it be nearly impossible to make any additional headway. But the most important factor here is you. YOU need to feel stable and calm and in control and that sounds really difficult while trying to raise a with special needs on your own. I you seek out support join a parenting support group, get a good counselor, a parenting hotline, make some time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself to best take care of him. hot matures LeedsWe all need therapy. The question for you is what kind of therapy do you need. Therapy comes in forms, not just from Therapists and other professionals. It sounds like you have already given yourself a good amount of therapy. Therapy can also come from friends, family, co-workers, even strangers (like this discussion forum). So ultimately it is up to you as to whether or not you think a trained professional service help you more. But for how you feel sounds right in line with what to be expected. I for one was married over 19 years only to be completely crushed in the end. No matter how you are together, to be in with someone that is not in with you well let me just say it is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. It has been over 2 years now. I often wonder whether or not I find anyone. Whether I allow myself to feel that way about anyone. So not much sound advice, but what you are going thru and feeling is to be expected. If you think talking to a therapist would be helpful then do so. But ultimately they do not have any magic secrets to make this go any faster. Everyone's time to recover is different. amateurs swingers
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