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It is not important whether you are right or some of the others are right about her feelings and intent. The only way that can be resolved is to get inside her head. The red is the lack of communication that seems to exist between the two of you in an almost year LTR. You can say what you like to me but you can not deny the facts. One of the foundations of a strong relationship is communications. Even if you two get back together, if this is not resolved this just happen again and again until resentment sets which most couples never recover from -stories become exaggerated. I am not pointing to blame because there is none to give. The communication problem stem with her or you or the both of you by the way you handle stressful situations. Some close up some run away and other become verbally or more none of them any good because of misunderstandings run rampant. Even if you believe you both have a great communications (fooling yourselves!), one of the only reasons someone not be talking is that they are considering opting out of the relationship it says there are problems in your relationship that can not be changed without communications. Your talking about change tells me that is a point of contention here. Not saying you are the problem or not the problem or that her expectations be unrealistic .but these are areas that need to be discussed and agreements must be followed with an accountability set up. If you two can not abide by this without resentment of unfairness then you two have a. If these feelings do come up you two must have a way to communicate this without hurt feelings being developed. There is so much more to this that some serious reading is ed for. You both have to have the trust (another foundation) to feel you can say anything to your partner without fear. What others think when they think of trust is not the trust I am speaking of. Active listening is also lacking, the other side of the coin of communication! Tybee Island naked girlsI just barely learned of the borderline thing of weeks ago. Happened upon the book 'surviving a borderline parent'. It was a shockingly illuminating read!!! 98% every applicable. I'm so grateful to have learned that, so now I can start shoveling myself back together lol. I got over the jerk ex rapist. boyfriend years ago, I don't care, yes I'm over that. My mother, no. My dad ignoring everything? no. What I sooooooo desperately want to get past now that I understand it is self-sabotaging all my life. Abusive relationships I plopped myself into. Dumb feelings that I'm experiencing with the great I finally have for no reason? Guilt. Guilt because I wanted a different mother. Numbness. She almost died two years ago, multiple hemorrhagic stem strokes. I was there with her when it happened, I took her to ER barely in time for it to happen and was there watching while the ER people ran around. Surreal. Numb. I never felt sadness or pain, just nothing. And still nothing, and so guilty for that still. I want to get my feelings back before she's gone forever. I do her You've been through it, haven't you? And now I'm crying :( Thank you single and looking
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