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you are not crazy to think that you can restore trust. You are just overly hopeful and unrealistiy optimistic. This is no condemnation of your hopefulness, just my 30+ years of experience with a diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer. During the last disasterous 4 years of marriage, my Ex lied (almost daily) about how her "counseling" was going. A few days before seperation she finally acknowledged that she had quit counseling over 3 years prior because it was "just too hard". Mind you, we had been in "marriage counseling" for about of our marriage, and I finally decided that "she" needed individual psychotherapy (to which she agreed), otherwise, I'd divorce her. During that last 4 years she made several scary and witnessed attempts on my life (besides the run-of-the-mill domestic violence perpetrated by her, and in addition to the infidelities, lies, accusations, and general victimhood routine). Just sayin' if this all has you twisted out of shape and indecisive, take a few dozen hours to research BPD. You find that you are not alone in your grief. There's a book ed "Walking on Eggshells". If your stbx is truly BPD, you find that the book was written directly to and for you. There is a workbook to help you overcome the personality traits that allowed you to become enmeshed in a relationship with a BPD sufferer. And there are also workbooks for you and your attorney when you decide to "Split" or divorce from a BPD sufferer. And if you think things were complicated during marriage, just wait until you actually pull the plug on the relationship! You ain't seen ugly yet. horney Minot woman
Been reading and listening a lot over last couple of weeks. As my Handle states this is new ground for my wife and I. All Started several Months ago when I discovered My wife had new friends that she had met online, A younger guy and his wife who as i have found out have a very open relationship and are mildly into the bdsm scene. I was quite pissed and extremely jealous when I found out that they have been talking and sexting between the of them for quite a while. I have since began to talk with them and have gotten to know them quite well.. story short.. the addition of these two strangers in our live have uncovered some very interesting sides of both myself and my wife. We have been married for almost 20 years and the sex life, as i am sure others have experienced, had become quite hum drum. Since the introduction of my wife's new friends the sex life has done a complete I cant get enough she cant get enough and we have tried things lately that were never an option with my wife in the past She has now approached me about possibly meeting with this couple for a mini vacation with the intention of either swinging or just a all out foursome .Interested But very nervous..I have jealousy issues and I am worried that this could end badly I know this post is all over the place i think because i am both excited and worried about this possibility.. I have noticed of you are quite comfortable with your situations and have given great advice to others so i guess i am hoping you can do the same for me . Thanks woman seeks boy to fuckthat you are overanalyzing the word "settle". It is just a word and maybe if you can change your mindset to the some other word, such as maybe compromise it might help. To settle makes one think in a negative way, in a way that things could always be better. However to compromise implies that you, yourself are getting something out of the situation. And each situation is unique. In a relationship you cannot keep score. So what that he gives on 2 big issues, that does not now mean you have to give on 2 big issues of his. When you are truly in you want to compromise. I understand there are some issue that you cannot compromise on, and we each have our own set of issues. I am still not really sure what the issue is that is giving you so much grief. Is it the smoking? If so like someone mentioned earlier that is an addition and it take effort on his part to give it up. I am more concerned with is to give up wanting to be a parent because you don't want to be one. That is a big issue IMHO to give up. My SO and I tend to agree on all the big issues. However, I am having to learn how to compromise on the smaller issues. uk online dating
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