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It's so peculiar how we on to the that our families become the warm, nurturing, and supportive people we need them to be. It sounds like your "parents" were weak in this area before you "came out," so chances are they not improve much with time. The treatment you have described is inexcusable in any situation. Time (and the lure of a granddaughter) might soften them a bit, but I have my doubts. I wonder what effect all this has on your daughter. These are toxic people and their poison has the potential to seep into all those around them (including your girl). I feel your (for family) in your posting, and the ache in your heart because this goes unmet. I have had more than a few friends who experienced rejection from their families of origin. They found great satisfaction and contentment as they built a "family" of their own choosing. Putting distance between you and them is a good thing and helpful in staying positive (very important if you live with chronic and/or terminal illness). As someone already mentioned, there is no book you can give them, there is no amount of and respect you can demonstrate to them, that change who they are or how they treat you. What you do need to do is TAKE CARE of YOURSELF. By staying physiy and emotionally, you are in kind, taking care of your daughter. I would also strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist that can help you work through some of the more traumatic aspects of your situation. Most community mental health agencies offer inexpensive (sliding scale) services at a very low rate. There are also group counseling situations that are affordable (or even free) based on your situation. (Contact any GLBT organization). I know people discredit therapy as a viable option, but having a someone who is empathetic, supportive, and genuine to talk with lift your spirits and help you get stronger. Blessings to you Divine .there are people out there who do care. naughty chat LithoniaI've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? women ready for sex
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It's easy for us to sit on the sidelines, a messy problem filled situation like this and say she should get up and leave. Ideally, that well be what she should do, but you've got two that they have together in this situation that have to be provided for. It sounds like they're barely making it economiy as one household. If they split and the same amount of money has to cover two households plus if she goes to work the added expense of childcare how is that going to work? He reminds me of my own father who was verbally and emotionally abusive and had anger issues as well as difficulties earning a living. My mother stuck it out, first taking a crummy job as a kitchen worker in the public school cafeterias, going to night school and school during the summers when her shcool job was in recess until she had skills that enabled her to be independent. Then when he had one of his tantrums and walked out she was able to tell him don't bother coming back. Unfortunately there are two in this mix that have to be feed, clothed, and schooled and that has to come first. I think she needs some kind of counseling to learn to develop her own self respect and get some support to cope with this, but in the economic situation it sounds like they are in it's probably going to be from some charitable organization rather than just checking out some normal fee for service MFCCs in the private sector. Maybe her church, but not if it's one of those conservative "it's all in the Bible, just believe in, and woman know thy place" kind of churches that abound where she is located. It's not a good situation, but it doesn't sound to me like leaving is an option at this point. Oakhurst Oklahoma casual dating hairy women personals in Sarzai
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