Where are you? I hate this baby. I'm so close to you now but my heart wants to give up. I've read so many books since your last letter I wrote, about Soulmates and The condition of the Soul. It has really enlightened me alot but at the same time taught me something I already knew in my heart, that everyone does have a other half. Im getting where I can't search anymore baby. I go out and get drunk to numb the pain of not having you to love but that only makes it worse, I end up home alone crying myself to sleep. It always seems like a good idea to begin with though. Now that I moved you must be close though because I feel you everywhere I go, the breeze blows my direction and I can smell this divine scent that fills me with thoughts and emotions like no other womans smell could. Its like my soul instantly knows that its you. I still see you in my dreams and sometimes wake up expecting to see you beside me but your not there, problem is it has gotten worse now. Are you close? Is that why this stigmata is happening to me? Its gotten so strong now I cant take it, every morning your still not beside me sleeping sweetly and every night I cry to my pillow which cuts into me deeper and deeper, it pains me like no other. My friends tell me that maybe giving up is what it takes but they don't understand me. So much love built up inside and only one woman to give it too. If only you were here they would understand then. However giving up sounds easier and easier as the lonely days pass. If I didnt have this opportunity to let these feelings out in these letters I have no idea what condition I would be in. The feelings build up so strong and like a balloon im ready to burst, then I either get drunk or write, or both. How much longer this can go on I don't know, im going to either die drowning my heartache or find you and satisfy my souls longing to be whole. Hopefully the latter. I just dont understand why I hear your voice at night and smell you so much more now. What are yo Array ladies ladies ladies Colorado springs new yearcuddle? ^.^ m4w Its cold. And I. Feel like cuddling :)
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