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looking for my fan girl a reminder of who owns her before sending her off to the BF. I prefer to use suggestions, rather than outright orders most of the time. And for suggestions, she can offer modifications/minor objections to them. The brattyness comes in in the tone she uses in doing that. It's usually playful, and looking for fun. But when I give an order (and it's framed as such, usually prefaced with "you -", or given in that tone of voice), and she tries to modify/avoid doing it in that playful tone, I'm not having any. An order is an order. If it was vague the first time, the second time it isn't at all. Protesting past that, unless it's on the limits list we have is an invitation for me to deny anything she is hinting at. She has a history of manipulation (and I could happily bury a number of her family members for teaching her that that is how you get anything in life GRRRRRR!!!) So training that out of her is taking a while. that I know wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior, tagging it immediately as TFTB, and would drop someone like her. A prime example of TFTB for me is when she starts complaining about everyday decisions (what we'll do, where we are going/who we are seeing). I know she's feeling neglected then, and I'll usually take that hint to tell her we'll be sceneing. That's all she needs to know, and the manipulation comes in if she keeps complaining, or trying to hint about activities for the scene. She knows to be open an honest about what she would like, and she knows that I generally try to incorporate that. But if she pushes for something (or just keeps dropping little hints without being direct), it isn't going to happen . If that makes any sense to you single woman Low Moor Virginia
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