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I'm sure this has been discussed before. My question is, is it possible for a marriage to heal after an infidelity? My husband and I have been together for over 7 years (married for almost 2). No. He has friends of the opposite sex, but it hasn't really bothered me. If I am bothered by it, I mention it to him. Well, there was a rumor about him and a friend of his (which he initially told me about), and I recently learned more about it. I wanted to make sure with him that there was no truth to the rumor, and if anything had happened, that it would be better to tell me so we could work through it. Well, he admited to sleeping with her and becoming close emotionally. We talked about it some and then I left to spend the night somewhere. I told him, before I left, that I wanted to work out whatever it is/was that caused him to cheat by seeing a marriage counselor. That I wanted to try and fix our relationship. But that I also wanted him to be happy, and if he didn't think that was possible with me, then he should leave. The next morning, he asks me to meet up with him to talk. I started preparing myself for the worst. I'd like to think I'm opptomistic in general, but I didn't want to have a little just to have it squashed by him. Well, we talked, and he said he wanted to try to make our marriage work. I told him, very directly, that it would be hard. I told him I expected him to not continue being friends with the other woman. And he told me that he wanted % honesty, even if I was afraid it might hurt him. I want to try. When he told me he wanted to try, he also told me that meant he would a marriage counselor. But part of me is that the same issues just come back. He's always been a little insecure. I went to school with and work with mostly guys. I have a good guy friend (who is happily married and has never been innapropriate with me). I know that seeing a counselor help us both with the issues we have. Has anyone here been through this and can offer any wisdom? I've lurked on this forum before. I felt it was a good way to learn from other people's mistakes (hence my insistance to a counselor). In case it matters, we are mid to late 20's. looking for a sweet down to Pomona girlcan be important. I avoid going through my primary care physician (on his advice as well) because he has to report the results to my insurance company. I would rather control that information. So, I test through some of the GLBT organizations that offer it (its free, but I give a donation at the same time). speed dating
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