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the existence of "soulmates" or "the one", I think that there are people that we meet in a lifetime that we recognize we could develop romantic or sexual feelings toward and develop a successful intimate relationship with, but due to circumstances such as timing, geography, or other attachments and loyalties, etc. we make the choice not to do so. It's entirely believeable in this case that the OP and his late friend's widow are two such people. After all they both had different but lasting intimate relationships with the same person and probably share experiences, connections, and values. There could well be latent feelings that have been submerged because of respect for the existing relationships that are now rising to the surface with the death of the friend. I think it's a question of timing. Right now both people are sharing feelings of loss and the wounds are still raw. Emotions are tangled and confused and not well understood. Time is needed for feelings to get sorted out. To me if he feels this way the question is not if he should explore this, but when. Now is too early. If he were to press his case now the woman might well feel pressured and unready to deal with these emotions and close the door on something she might be interested in later. There needs to time for feelings of loss and mourning to take their normal course. sexy women fucking in O'Kean
Loss of privilege is very much part of it, but as I say often, Dominant culture never understands the cultures it dominates. No matter what your intention, if you don't understand you can offend without intending to. This is a case where the "Well meaning clueless white person" T-shirt comes in handy. 94523 discreet sexNever, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP! Just because some people don't want to be around you does not mean you are bad. I don't know you, but I'll bet it's THEIR loss. Relationships? Different people get into, or decide not to get into, relationships at different rates. When I realized that my ex had taken YEARS from me, I made a decision not to give her any more by letting her have my feelings. It was very liberating. You can do it too. Not preaching here, but there is a Scripture that says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and they that it eat the fruit thereof." I take that to mean that what we say affects how we are. It is hard to be positive when all around us looks negative. Just remember, the negative is AROUND you. The negative is NOT YOU? We all have "tapes" that we play in our heads. Mine used to be very negative self-image tapes. One day, I decided to change the mental tape, and I began saying positive things about myself. It was hard. It took effort at first, but eventually the "positive tapes" began to come as naturally as the "negative tapes" had. My friend, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Is depression real? Absolutely. Is it tough to deal with. Often the answer is yes. Can you beat it? Without a doubt. I wouldn't tell you to "just get better" any more than I would say that to a person with a broken arm. They are both medical conditions. If you had a broken arm, it might slow you down, but you would not let it stop you. The tough thing about depression is that it affects the very that you need to use to fight it. (Ugh) horny housewives
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