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how one makes decisions, or not makes decisions. You are displaying a very flaw thought process. He quit his job (you keep repeating this as the only time he showed you he can do something for you ) but I am very curious what was his yearly salary on this job? I am not convinced ANYONE ever quit a job to show their or that they are also changing "a deal breaker". Now, I am very practical person. I know you are not practical or rational in way form or shape .but I give you a cost analysis of moving to FL. He is a chef and the way he is quitting his jobs in the past I am under the impression, he is not that good (that passionate about it) or yet have not reached a peak in his career (this says a lot for 41yrs) .so in, he be working some little restaurant and make about 25K or so . How much do you make today? how years have you been doing? factor all those and in FL, you be unemployed or underemployed for minimum a year (in practice you could get lucky prior to that but you could also win the lottery) He said he wants to be closer to his family, meaning he be uplifted emotionally (he sounds kind of depressed in my view but to each his own) .so he can go and eat at moms every weekend until that 25K job showed up .on the other hand, you are from your friends, good paying job, your -'s friends, and everything familiar and comforting to start all over again and definitely experienced the usual displacement (under cover depression)prone to anyone who ever moved or relocated! Now you have been posting same issue for over a year .no practical thinking needed here. and now you be confounding same issues with some financial and external emotional disturbances . my black magic ball says: he wants to be close to his family to show he has reached somewhere by bringing you along to buy a house (looks to his family he owns with you) .eventually you break up and he invested some in "your" house that be splited you move back to philly, REALLY BROKEN NOW in every sense of the world and start all over .not bad you land your feet but you learn a powerful lesson .CL posters are bunch of losers BUT NOT ALL OF THEM ARE EVER IN A AGREEMENT OF HOW TO ADVISE ONE PERSON. good luck and post again next year please! girls looking in 90706 y alrededores
Thanks ladies, the show of support is amazing. I am so not used to it. there are a lot of ideas here that i need to try to focus on. I think i have been focusing on the wrong things and now i need to focus back on me. I do have, i have one cat (roommate has 2), my pup (roommates pup Rayven)and can't forget Dug the dragon (beardie). are very important in my life, at this point they are the reason that i get up in the morning. I do volunteer at a Rape crisis center, but maybe that's not enough for me. I used to volunteer at the ASPCA shelter, but my RA got the better of me and i had to stop, but then i was working with the Farm maybe if i work with smaller aminals. I stop rambling. Thank you ladies. this has helped this morning. Have a great day Hugs. hot rocker types wanted if ur white its just rightWhen it comes to sex outside the marriage, I have never looked at fair like we have to have the same level of freedom. In fact, equal freedom be completely unfair. Let me show you what I mean: If I am % of w/my wife sleeping with another person, and she is NOT ok with me doing so, and she sleeps with another person, causing me no angst, and I sleep with someone, causing her severe heartache/jealousy, then she had to go through the heartache/jealousy, and I didn't have to go through anything negative, therefore even though we did the exact same thing, it is NOT fair. Conversely, if my wife is ok w/me sleeping w/another woman, and I am NOT ok with her doing it, and I sleep w/another woman, causing her no pain/heartache, and she DOESN'T sleep with someone, thereby causing me no pain/heartache, that IS fair. Here is where it gets tricky If I am ok w/my wife sleeping w/someone ONLY if I am given the same freedom, and she is not ok w/me doing it, then if she does it and I don't, I get the heartache but she doesn't (not fair) and if we both do it then she gets the heartache not me (also not fair). If this is your situation, the ONLY right solution, IMHO, is for you to stay monogamous. adult usa
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