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When i asked him to leave, it was his black out anger that made the decision .he grabed our daughter (5 ft 2 in soaking wet), by the throat. the end result was me ( lbs) on the floor, with him on top of me (him, lbs) me with a broken rib all i could say was **I am done** My income was what we have lived on for the past at least 10 years, i am disabled .he would work short periods, and quit the job in the blink of an eye yeah, i would totaly say his self esteem was trashed, but he was the one to trash it .i had tried several times over tha last few years to help him to help himself, to no avail .so i paddled along, paid the bills as best i could, and loved him anyway. When folks around our town have asked about him, i would update them accordingly, he is doing better than i have seen him do in YEARS, and i couldnt be more proud of him .another factor, he had a closet habit, off and on for 15 out of 16 years .i didnt figgure it out for the first 6 years we were together and its been a battle ever since. He finaly got succesfully sober when he left .no more ghetto trailer to worry about fixing, no more worry about the responsability of any of the mess left behind he got a whole new world .up and out of the mess here, and ploped right into a wonderful life .ok, so this was a separation to fix ourselves i thought we were both making fantastic progress .when our daughter gave birth, c section, she ed dad from her recovery room .he brushed her off .we ed him on his birthday, again he brushed us off. Ok, so i did have a feeling he was seeing someone but i was NOT prepared for .**I have met someone, she is wonderful, i want a divorce, and i am shutting off the cell phones** Took my breath away . I be ok i think ..16 years is a huge chunk of my life, and this trailer is still a huge leaky mess, a work in progress, my way of healing my self esteem/respect, which i lost in an effort to this person, way to years ago . CONT NEXT POST for dependable girls fucking buddyI'd find a private place to talk, and clear the air. Offer something complimentary or flattering to ease the transition to the inevitable "But " and explain how you felt overwhelmed and incredibly uncomfortable. Tell her that you didn't mean to make her feel bad or ruin her night by rejecting her, you just weren't expecting things to turn out like they did. Explain to her that you would be uncomfortable messing around with someone who was married, and that you spend most of last night freaked out that this cause drama at work, and that you're having this talk to hopefully avoid that. Anytime she tries to interrupt, let her say what she has to say, don't try and ram the conversation down her throat. Then steer things back to the "endgame", and explain that you want to remain friendly at work, but you aren't interested in anything romantic between you guys. If you don't talk to her, you are failing to act. Failing to act means you have to REact to whatever drama she stirs up. I think having a conversation (a sober one, after the fact) is necessary to clear the air. Otherwise, take what comes. lady xxx
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