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there's a certain 'look' that says butch or femme to me. I think the 'look' comes partly from their state of mind and how the person identifies. It's also bedroom behavior. And, I think people are attracted to different parts of that "je ne sais quois" that governs how we appear in the world (as butch/femme/whatever). Some of us resonate with the butch or femme aspects of that and others don't. It's a very individual thing. It is fascinating to me as well. I have an aquaintance who seems to me to be quite femme, but who id's as masculine and actually wants to be ed "he". (I confess it's confusing to me because I experience her as feminine. I dodge the issue by referring to her/him by name.) looking for a good night pBetcha anything that you want a buff, youngish guy and reject anyone who doesn't match that description. Got news for you: those guys you in porn? Normal people don't look like that. Neither do you, in all likelihood. You are also likely very ageist and wouldn't dream of connecting with a guy your own age or older. Another possibility is that you've fallen for the idea that men are either tops or bottoms. In reality, when you've drawn the drapes, closed the bedroom door, and turned off the lights, there's no telling who do what to whom. You also be trying too hard and come across as a needy, clinging type. That is guaranteed to turn off a lot of people. And then there are basics like grammar and spelling. You wrote "singel" instead of "single". If that's not a misspelling, it's still evidence you don't proofread your postings before clicking "commit." And what about grooming and dress? Do you keep yourself clean and well groomed, and wear clean clothes (esp. undies)? Dirty slobs have a hard time getting to first base with anyone. sex with married women
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