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Durable Power of Attorney AND Health Care Directive. You need BOTH. Doesn't matter whether these are granted to a relative or not. Could be anyone you choose. Confer with an attorney; you can change any clauses to include or delete any rights you want. DPOA can give rights to sign legal documents, withdraw funds, open or close accounts, buy or sell real estate, much anything you choose to do in your partner's name (except represent each other in a court of law couldn't do that married, either so it doesn't matter). (BTW, married partners don't have of these rights for each other unless they have a DPOA, also. It just gives you a way to put those rights that married couples DO have into writing for you and your partner as well.) Health Care Directive is just that states yours or your partner's wishes about what medical decisions you can make for him or her when he/she is temporarily incapacitated. You need both, because sometimes they overlap and sometimes an action using one document also requires the other document to enforce it. These documents must be filed with your county courthouse. They provide certified copies, for a fee. Easily cancelled if you want, all you have to do is write a letter to the partner that you're cancelling it, and then put a copy of that letter on file at the courthouse. Done. (Still won't stop them from using it after it's cancelled, but you'd have grounds to if they did.) For this reason, most attorneys recommend that you make a DPOA active for a certain time period a year, years, you choose. And then renew. for white female fwbWhen I worked in security, we learned this fascinatingly simple thing they ed Escalation of Force (they even had a cute little professional poster like the kind we had in grade school, except about the proper way to beat people). Anyway, sometimes you tease me because you say I think you act too mean. So now I tease you for accusing me of acting too nice. I think in any situation there are *stages* of response that make sense. In a situation that begins at a low level, the response you detailed IMHO is too. What if the women wasn't even aware that she knew people, and all it would take to turn her to being pro rights was realizing someone close to her was a lesbian? In that case, the best thing you might be able to do would be to friend her and be out, and that could be all it took to open up her world. But if you start out at your stage, then you almost certainly guarantee that she hate all people forever, which seems counter to your stated purpose of having real multiculturalism (and not just some bullshit on paper that no one actually respects, like, say, civil rights for people of color if anything, libertarianism tells us that having big bro put things on paper is not the right direction to go about it). On the other hand, the dude in the bar who kept groping your friend deserved what he got, because a real, concrete person in his own sphere of existence asked him to stop what he was doing and yet he continued to physiy her. So fuck that guy. He started out at a higher level of force, and the appropriate response was in kind. married people dating
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