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munch community. Join , there is an events tab to help you find classes and events near you, and most munch groups maintain a fet presence. Here is our groups newbie post: So you want to be a submissive? That's awesome, a D/s relationship can be very fulfilling. don't know where to start? Well, start by slowing down just a bit, there are some things to learn first to make sure your experience is a safe and happy one. The first DON”T: don't make a post saying you're a new submissive/slave looking for a Dom/Master, or submissive/slave training. Geez, that scares the hell out of me! While I have found the vast majority of the kink/BDSM community to be wonderful people, there are always going to be the dodgey sort in any community. As much as I hate to admit it, they inhabit the kink community too. There are McDoms (and McDommes) out there. They count on you not knowing the difference between BDSM and. They count on being your only source of “the one true way”. If anyone starts telling you “if you were a TRUE submissive, you'd (insert act here)” spit in his eye, and run like hell. The questionable ones count on you not knowing enough to them on their crap. You have the right to your own limits, and a Dom should always respect that. You decide between the two of you (or more, if that's your dynamic) what is and what is not acceptable. Any Dom/Domme worth their salt has the best interests of their sub in mind. They practice the "camp ground" philosophy to leave their sub in as good or better a condition than they found them. There is a lot of responsibility to being a Top/Dom, and make sure the one you choose is capable of that responsibility. Your submission is a gift. Make sure your Dominant is worthy of this gift. And listen to your gut, if it feels off, take that feeling seriously. don't put yourself in dangerous situations. The first DO: DO learn as much as possible. Learn what BDSM is and what it isn't. There are two basic philosophies of BDSM, SSC and RACK. Safe, Sane and Consensual, and Risk Aware Consensual Kink. I'd suggest you stick with SSC until you learn enough to make a truly informed decision on the risks you're willing to accept. Learn from as different sources as possible, the wider the better. fuck my wife in Valhermoso Springs AlabamaI don't understand much of your post, but I want to try to help. You say you're looking for an LTR and you've been finding men to date who "seem to resonate with your new found energy." Yet: "I cannot find men around my age with who want a term relationship." And men w/out make you suspicious: "I need some assurances on why would these men were never married in the first place or had families" You think there's something 'wrong' w/ the men who've never been married and/ or had -; there's something wrong w/ the men who've been there/ done that, but don't want those things/ an LTR with you. In this logical loop, there's something wrong everyone even you!: "I cannot think like a. My thinking is little clouded because I am a woman." Frankly, I don't know any woman who'd ever say such a thing (esp. not one in her 40s but I'll remit my back-burner inklings, re: your gender ). Your 'perceptions' are deceiving you. Forget the self-betraying mess about maturity/ immaturity/ age; forget about (existent or not); forget marriage. These ideals/ 'plans' are disallowing you from getting in on the ground floor w/ these men. You come in w/ too preconceptions, jumping too far ahead in your mind. In this way, you cut these men (and yourself) off at the knees, and ultimately fall back on your old 'flight'-oriented habits (though they're manifesting in a new configuration, they're still there). Get to know the men you date think of them as new friends. Spend time, talk to them about their/ your interests, feel them out, and get a sense of their attitude. Learn about them on their own terms. don't try to define them based on airy nothings. And avoid discussing term goals, past relationships/ residual fears in the early mtgs. (It could be that the once-married/ men who have sniff you out as a desperate ring-seeker.) Keep interactions in the present. dating and matchmaking
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