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I think I'm hearing from you is that I should have taken the time to look at those pictures, feel my reactions and responses, and answer my own questions instead of subjecting others on this particular site who (presumably) want equality to do the work I should be doing on my own. Also, I think I'm hearing you say that when the tables were turned, I refused to use logic and reason to explain my reaction towards something that is just as valid (the expression of and marriage in one culture) as same-sex marriage. In other words, I was reacting to a particular culture and couple with my emotions while at the same time wanting to know why others react the way they do towards same-sex couples. So, essentially, I've shown a double standard within me: it's okay to have an illogical reaction towards something I don't agree with, but it's not okay for others to have their reaction towards same-sex couples based on whatever personal reasons. Regarding the first thing you said, I think I'm hearing that I am trying to justify my beliefs by having others agree with me. Yet, when confronted about my beliefs, I don't have any legitimate rationale of my own except to blame my reactions on emotion and not logic. So, basiy, I'm not thinking for myself and I'm coming here to get others to think for me by asking hard questions that I don't want to answer myself. If this is what I'm basiy doing, then I am not treating this online community well. Instead, I'm basiy using all of you to do my work. If this is what you are saying, then I can understand my approach makes things difficult for others and it makes me more and more unwanted here. So if I want to be wanted here, if I want to be a part of this online community, I need to knock it off with the hard questions and find better ways to interact. If this is correct seeing my approach from this perspective, I can totally understand why I'm running into conflict instead of making new friends. I come across as a user of people instead of a participant of this community. Yuck. I don't to continue behaving this way and being perceived like this. I'm not benefiting anyone with my approach, not even myself. I've never been a part of a forum like this, and I need to learn something new so that I don't continue to offend others and alienate myself. divorced woman in Carragosela
First, good for you for diving into how you feel about this and not just immediately dismissing your boyfriend because he told you he is bisexual. That’s a great start to responding to some big and surprising news. I’m responding as a woman who is bisexual myself. Years into my term relationship with my straight male partner, I shared that I had realized I was bisexual and we continued in our relationship beyond that. I’m not sure if you identify as straight or as part of the LGBT community, but straight people sometimes do not understand the difficulty for those of us who are in the process of coming out. It can be really scary to say that aloud to the people we after a lifetime of societal pressure to be heterosexual. I’m willing to bet that it was scary for your boyfriend to come out to you and risk your leaving him after you told him. It speaks volumes about the degree to which he trusts you, and how much he values your relationship, that he has done this. There are unfortunately a lot of hurtful myths about bisexuality, as evidenced by some bigoted responses you received to your post—we can’t commit to monogamous relationships, we cheat because need to simultaneously must have both genders as lovers, we want to have threesomes, we are confused and can’t make up our minds if we’re or straight, ad nauseum. And then there is the opinion, as evidenced here, that we who are bisexual don’t even exist. After knowing this is my gender identify for 20 years, it still stings when people negate a whole group of people so sweepingly. What being bisexual means is being attracted to both genders. That’s it. Sure, some bisexuals cheat and sleep around. So do lots of straight people. In other words, we’re just like the rest of the spectrum of humanity. So talk to your boyfriend. Ask him how he thinks being bisexual affects his life. If you’re afraid it damage your relationship, share those fears with him. Assuming you decide to continue in your relationship, ask him how you can support him as you remind yourself that he is bucking societal pressures. You find that talking openly about this bring you closer as a couple. Finally, it can super helpful to do some reading and defuse those fears with real information. Check this out. Common Myths About Bisexuality: ladieshow do you feel about older men manhattanyour not alone g2 your local lbgt community center, and if there's a support group. coming out is scary at first, but once its done, its done!! Its like a big brick coming off of your chest. I did it when i was 16, and although my parents reacted with horror, they got over it..and now they want me to settle down! ha ha be strong, confident, being a lesbian is normal, be honest, and coming out just let you live your life with out being in the closet. there's nothing good about living with a such a secret. maybe talk to ppl 1 @ a time? Keep talking about it and the words come! don't come out to family and friends while the are driving..j/k. in there and do it! do it!! love dating
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