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I think when ageplay includes the sexual component, it makes me uncomfortable because as an adult, I'm told (and rightfully so) that a -'s/teen's sexuality is not my domain to be in. I remember that time in my own life. The discoveries about who I was at the time, what my body was like, what I was capable of then in comparison to now I remember those times and look on them fondly. But the reason for that is because those memories, those experiences are mine. If I sexualize my own past, it's not "creepy" or inappropriate. But when other people come into focus, even if it's Mr. Vengeance or start to feel a fair amount of discomfort. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. But if wants to be "-" or "little" in a non sexual context, I can give him that. I can give him safety, nurturing, and non sexual affection. That I'm capable of, and am willing to do. It was just a shock at first. I'm still wondering why I never saw the writing on the wall with him. wifey material where is my kingFirst off, I really appreciate the responses. Up until this morning, I was really hopeful, willing to do whatever it took. Then I looked in the trashcan outside. don't ask me why, I just did (when throwing away some recyclables). There was a strange shopping bag in there, and I opened it. All of her notes mostly rantings about me were in there. I read them. I took them. Not like reading her diary they were abandoned property and quite likely she meant for me to find them. She's not the retiring sort (neither am I we have always prided ourselves on our communication), so what I read wasn't a shock. She feels controlled. She needs her alone time. She needs to be appreciated. She values spontaneity. She wants me to be more of a hands-on dad (tough when I'm busting my ass in an office M-F), but most of all, she needs alone time. Which I was (reluctantly, though I get your point, FamAtty) fine giving her. Until I came across other things. Notes to a guy. A guy she used to sleep with before we were married. Notes that clearly tell me she carried a torch for him, and he her, and they have been communicating regularly. And have possibly/likely slept together. And he has been telling her all the things she wants to hear. And that she has been lying to me. I am so fucking confused and despondent, I can't believe it. This is how she spent her "alone-time" this weekend. Am I being naive to want to hold my marriage together, even after this? Am I crazy for still loving her and wanting to work things out, both for me and our beautiful? They are so innocent and wonderful. This is me. I can't believe she is the one who has turned out to be unfaithful. I am absolutely stunned. I have not told her I know, but at some point, if I don't, and she knows I know, there are ramifications for that (every time she wants "alone time," I'll know she's doing that guy and it eat at me). Regardless, it -/should come out in therapy, if not before and then what? Oh, one of her complaints about me is that I care what other people think about me. And I have always considered divorce a failure. And I don't fail at much. Oh boy do I need therapy. And a good lawyer. couples sex
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