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Background: I caught my wife having an affair in -'08. It had been going on for a couple of years. story short, with no, it would have been easy to dovorce. But we have faced our issues together and have made tremendous progress. I have monitored my wife on occasion by using recording devices, monitoring phone records etc and relatively sure she has initiated no contact. The problem is the Other keeps trying to sneak in under the radar and reel her back in. I've spoken with the twice by phone after an early and late November attempt to contact my wife. Both times laid the law down but apparently to no avail. Last week I stuck a recording device in her car I record him as he tells my wife he dreams everyday of XXXXXXX her and basiy says he do so again. By the tone of the conversation, I'm sure it was a meeting. But he had already scheduled an appointment at her place of work under another name to her the next day. I observe him visit my wife at her work. My wife she put herself in that situation. She claims it was all innocent, but she is an adult with the power to say no. I decided gave her the walking papers on Friday. After a bout we have agreed to one more attempt to rebuild. I mean Fucking everything is back to square #1. I made her her brother and sister to confess. She needs a bit of shame in her life, not burying a dirty secret. I don't think there has been any infidelity since, but I'm sick of this. Everytime he enters our lives, it wrecks all the trust and progress we have made. The OM I decided to contact a private detective and obtain all contact info on his wife and family. It was a promise I made to him that each time he contacts my wife I contact his wife. Other than his name and a business phone number, I have purposely avoided knowing what this looks like, what he drives, where he lives. He's an arrogant POS and I dream everyday of doing violent things to this. I need advice. Rat him out to his wife and risk blowback from her/him? Sit on the info and he got the message? women seeking men san Cherokee free sexdifferent modesties? Can two people have different views of mosdesty and still have a good relationship? How can I identify what MY problem is about this whole thing. I think it is easy to simply judge someone as insecure and that they are trying assert control over another person, and I can accept that I am insecure about it, and the idea of controlling another person repulses me. But part of the problem does include that I believe that certain attire is appropriate and some not that a suit that is "sexy" at a -'s swim class is fundamentally wrong because sexuality does not have a place in a swim class per se not that the would care an iota of it, but that the dad's are there to concentrate on the and a bikini would cause a distraction, especially for myself I know that I would be distracted by the sight of this woman in this suit. I was the one who asked her on the phone "so what bathing suit did you wear?" Why did I? Why did I even open that door? Because I needed to cause myself some pain I guess. This was a new thing for her and I had already raised 2 and experienced the swimming pool classes and had an idea in my head of what it should be like. This is a woman who claims that the liberal left coast childhood leaves her with: the absence of caring about showing off skin that she is youthful and should dress youthfully that she is and can dress that, and this is the hardest for me to accept, she literally doesn't anything around her such as other men, who might be exhibiting attraction behavior toward her. I still want to know where the root of the discomfort lies and hopefully come to how I can handle these kinds of things going forward. The reactions and feelings are part of me and I can't yet avoid them. I want to be secure. I want her to make her own life choices and not be with a guy who chimes in that her choices evoke negative emotions. I want to reconcile the ideas of what is appropriate in certain social settings. I am disgusted by the concept of control and don't knowingly my reactions as a conscious attempt to control. I worry though, that I am already too hard-wired in my reactions and fear that I can't change what needs changing regarding insecurity. big beautiful women
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