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First and foremost leave obviously the situation has gotten out of control Second though I know how you feel I live in an upper middle class respectable family. We are Baptist that have gone to church every and Wednesday For my whole life, but for some reason time and time again terrible things have happened in my family and too my family. Most of it was caused by my sisters being in abusive relationships and the somehow always circled back into the family. I watched one of my sisters boyfriends shoot themselves, the other slit his throat and the other I had to beat off my sister with a base ball bat before he killed her and so on and so on. This has been happening since I was. I am 24 now. I could never figure it out. I live in a normal family. Why do all of these abnormal things always happen to us? I still have not figured that out and I have been embarrassed and ashamed about it. Now though I am thankful for it. I mean I have some issue but all in all I am a honest, loving, caring, strong person and I don’t think I would be who I am had I not gone through all that I have been through. BE STRONG AND MOST IMPORTANTLY DO NOT BE A VICTIM, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. hang out chill swinger seniorsalways have had a problem with being assertive. During dating he found out he could push me and I wouldn't push back. I basiy married my dad. I was afraid of this, and I still am to an extent, for most of our ten year marriage. I was raised with little conflict and my DH was raised being able to argue with his parents. I didn't learn that is was safe to express my opinion, be angry or argue. My husband is kind of scary. He an introverted engineer and can argue circles around me and people. He's so sensitive and touchy that people learn quickly to walk on eggshells around him. I have become MUCH more assertive in the past year and surprisingly, he's backed off quite a bit. He still has the ability to manipulate me and tonight I apologized if I upset him and cringed that I did that. It was on the phone and I felt that old urge to get the connection back. How can this be fixed? I guess, like with the arguing, I have to stop the bulldozing in its tracks, simply refuse it. He seems to thrive in conflict, he even bring up extremely sensitive subjects right in the middle of sex! I simply refuse to even discuss it now or say we can stop and go talk about it outside of bed. So, I guess I am doing much of what I need to be doing, most of the time. It's hard for me because my nature is to be cooperative. I like and getting along. In order to be my own person in this marriage, I have to be willing to fight for my rights, defend myself, stand up to him and win the power struggles by refusing to bend to his. It's stressful. I imagine it's a lot like having a with oppositional defiance disorder. I am guessing that my husband bring the topic up when he's back home. On some level he knows about his issues but he defensively blames everything on others. So this be about me taking an opportunistic jab, not that he actually might have something he should take a look at. My plan is to simply say I realize that have not been the appropriate time to bring that up and not cave. older women younger men
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