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visiting family in this part of the country I recently met this girl whos sending me vibes shes queer and interested. shes super sweet, understanding, helpful, smart, beautiful, etc. Here's the complicated part: she has a 3 yr. old, single mom, the dad is involved in the life (helps some), in college full time, works one job that i know of! she said today "shes always overloaded" I really dig, hanging out and playing cuz to play and so do i. The first time i met her is the only time i've seen her. it was at her work and we talked for like 25 mins. or so. talked to her 2day on the phone. she was awesome, i invited her to go this cool event 2morrow night but she said she can't b/c of her kid. i understand that. its a whole diff. life than a single womyn w/ no. she wants me to come over sometime. my last partner seemed "Together" when i met her. she owned a house in the most expensive part of the US where we both lived, etc she hid it from me for about 2 weeks when we started hanging out, then i find out she has 4 jobs, gets up at 4am for her first job, gets home abt. 6pm from the last job (a painter who made $60/hr. her own business) BUT she had shitloads of Debt. Owed like $ , on her mortgage and credit cards. she'd complain that she had no money to spend it all went to bills. those are 2 examples retired marine needs sexy lady exotic and eroticHmm. Well, I tend to agree with him, there. Why would he want a jacket and shirt from your graduate school? Did he go there? Unless he did, he probably doesn't have any affiliation with it, other than his GF goes there. But be that as it he could have been a lot more diplomatic about how he talked to you about it. That, plus other instances (the "cheap" cologne remark, for example) tells me that his expectations are different when it comes to gift-giving. I ask what he gives you for gift-giving occasions? If the disparity is too wide, that be also be a reason for his frustration. For example, if you're giving him a shirt, and he's giving you a bracelet. He might be forgiven for feeling that the gift is indicative of the importance you put on the relationship, and be speaking out of hurt feelings. I don't say that it's right but it could be a factor in his disappointment. Granted, his words were ill-chosen, but is this a possibility? Some people come from very different gift-giving traditions. My husband is one of the most generous people in the world, but extravagant Christmas gifts make him crazy his family tended to low-key gifts to small, thoughtful or funny items, and my family's tendency towards more expensive, splashy gifts made him very uncomfortable. It caused some misunderstandings early in our relationship, because it's hard to not equate the thought put into a gift with the depth of feeling behind it. But we worked it out I scaled back and he stepped it up a bit, so now I'm not getting bedroom slippers while he's getting a leather jacket :-) Either way I'm sorry his didn't like his gift. It happens. But to declare that he never get another gift from you is just a little bratty, isn't it? Like I said, we don't know what kind of gifts he gives you, or what the expectations are. For most folks, I'd say that yeah, you accept your gift, smile, and quietly dispose of it if you don't like it. But if you can't be honest with your SO then why are you in this relationship? mobile chat
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