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I am almost 18 months from being finalized. years left of maintenance payments. I could not be happier leaving the lifeless, loveless marriage behind. I was married 18 years with great. While I am not advocating divorce for anyone, it worked for me. Life has balanced out for me. I have a decent enough apartment close to a downtown area. Financially recovering and close to on my k this year. Date often. Recent event confirming my divorce as the right thing: My ex is a drama, conflict starter, must apologize for things that you are not sure what you did kind of person. Last night at the HS awards I made a comment that my oldest is going to europe for the, and my youngest should move into the big room in the house I would do it this weekend, etc. She makes a comment that she didnt know my oldest was going to europe this (its a school program for about a month). I made the dig "maybe you should talk to your daughter more". she huffs away stating that we are not married anymore and she does not have to take it from me. I spent the awards night with my two, one being awarded in the school cafe. meanwhile letting my oldest know that we are switching rooms, since wont be home for a year plus via text. no issues, she responds fine. RECENT DRAMA -so today my oldest s (from college) me in tears. My ex ends around and rails her because she didnt know about europe. My daughter starts in on me about it. I stop her and explained to her that this nonsense drama is why I left your mother, and why our marriage died. It drove away friends, family, and has gotten her fired before. Take a deep breath, and understand how not to treat people. She stops crying, and tells me that she told her mother before, but she didnt listen. I am going over the house to move the rooms. Still come back to DIFO to the rants. mature women Shermanthis is a very good opportunity for both of you to develop problem solving qualities. wedding planning is stressful, but not as much as the other issues you would have in your life. honestly if you two guys can't manage this minor situation, better reconsider your whole marriage or better give yourself some more time until you work out the issues. remember that marriage is not only about, but also about respect, friendship, care, responsibility and compromises which includes the problem solving. so start working out. the core of the problem solving is the good communication, so all you have both to do is sit down, breath deep, count to ten and each other start to tell in details what his problem is, what solution he would likes and the other have to listen and try to accept the solution. if the solution is not acceptable, then gently discuss the options and reach an agreement on how to solve it so it would be acceptable for the both parties. often the parents are the actual core of the problem, so first thing is to disregard any member of the family, no matter what they are tying to tell/consult you. after all you live with that person, not them. don't make it convenient for them, make it convenient for you. if the core of the issue is financial, there are other ways to work it out just discuss what cuts you can do and do it. making a detailed budged with Excel is easy and very productive when you're trying to do some precise financial planning. good luck and most important don't give up looking for love
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