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assets and deal with SS: One detail you have not covered are ALL THE OTHER ASSETS AND/OR DEBTS of the marriage: Are there other debts? Are they large? Assets like timeshares, cars, boats? What about all the household goods, computers, 'toys'? Those can add up to a very, even as used goods- and THAT can mess with your potential negotiation room big-time if they are not divided somewhat evenly between you. I can think of some options for you to offer 'in lieu' of monthly support 'for the generally granted period', if your goal is to get out from under this relationship and all financial entanglements asap: Let's say the SS post-tax value to her is $ /month for 5 years- that is a lump sum offer you can make of $ K vs paying her monthly. One caveat, figure the tax liability for Fed and State carefully on this, as it MUST be accurate for her status post-marriage AND you want to consider the impacts of it no longer being a reduction in income for YOUR tax status if you do this. What is your flexibility on paying off the mortgage in lieu of support and dividing liquid assets, and then quitclaim the house to her? Remember, only HALF that debt is hers in settlement, the other half is your obligation regardless. Could you pay off both halves from the savings and k shares vs dividing those assets? You've got $ K available there, plus whatever the SS lump sum value works out to. Does that come close? Here's an example: Mortgage and house value $ K. Her half of mortgage $ K, a wash if paid off vs savings/ K split. YOUR half of mortgage $ K, apply $ K est SS lump sum, balance owed $ K. You have now used up your savings mostly but preserved your K, because there's a nasty tax penalty to infringe on that Can you come up with the final $ K to close the deal? don't forget, you need a very current full appraisal done before you you truly run the number on this AND to file it in court. muscle Pearl looking for raw topI've changed my mind. Do you have any family that you can stay with? This kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. You need to start making an exit plan if he's throwing groceries across the driveway, it's past time to dump his ass. It's only a short twitch of the wrist before he starts in on you. You need to have an exit plan. Here's a list of things and documents you need to gather: If you can, start to gather these things now, and store them with a trusted friend or family member. Be careful to erase computer evidence of your search for help (., domestic websites, etc.) Read this: None of this is your fault, and he's probably not going to change. His anger is out of control, and you are just steps from behind his next punching bag. This is not a marriage, so don't think that you're "breaking up" your marriage. internet dating sites
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