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Always so much to say, but often lacking the appropriate time, words, arena, or audience. So notions, thoughts, theories, feelings, sentiments, confessions, ideas, hopes, fears and truths that are so much less dangerous, less powerful, when left in mental bondage, captured and entangled in the confines of the ever-broadening, (yet, strangely suffocating in its perpetuate state of maximum capacity) mind. So errors that I've found and have circled in red in the rough(est) draft of life, but I refuse, even still, to go back and edit it to pardon it, excuse it, fix it with a band-aid with simple words, simple utterances of reality, of fact, of opinion, of emotion New skin can't move the scar. The mind moves too fast for emotions to keep up: a saving too wonderful to praise. Push it aside as a laugh beats a tear to the punch. Laughter life's sole redemption, more often than not. Laughter my favorite murmur of defeat. It is never an option to tell you what is on my mind. History repeats itself, but you cannot fool me twice. To have you toss salt when I showed you how deep the wound was it cannot happen twice, and therefore, it is never an option to tell you what is on my mind history repeats itself, while the future remains unstated altogether. Who would be foolish enough to let a past that did not want them sabotage a beckoning future? "Not I," said the girl, glancing over her shoulder for a second too. is a dangerous thing an infection of the mind that eats away at reality but just the gray matter. Jet black and stark white were always my forte my comfort. The greater the polarity the lesser the confusion. The lesser the confusion the greater disillusion. So, you, I must demand the shades of gray. I need them. Avoiding them is not an option, as it is nothing more than a lie. A destructive truth always trumps a mollifying lie. But self-destruction doesn't lie comfortably across the heart. It is never an option to tell you that I you. That your imperfections make you perfect. That's not for you to know, to hear, to wonder, or suspect. Who are you to know the elusive truth? It isn't yours to conjecture. It isn't yours, because when it was, you did not. So now it is mine, but only in theory, as most elusive things tend to be. And it is never an option to tell you, until history repeats itself. who wants to fuck tonight or right now 22 bakersfield 22This is going to sound damn crazy, but here goes: For the very first time in my entire life, I met a woman who is the better reflection of myself. We share the same the values, and even share of the same recreational and music interests in common. We fell in with each other, and the craziest part of this, we have never met, face-to-face. We met on. we're both writers, writing about the same subject (relationships. go figure). She left some very nice comments about my material and that's how things got started, about two weeks before this past christmas. We IM'd alot (over 15, threads), along with phone s lasting for hours at a time. I was and I still am extremely honest with her about who I am, and I trust that she has treated me with the same respect. I always knew from the start that she was very protective of her own feelings and her heart because of a rough upbringing followed by a number of really bad relationships. She is particualrly sensitive when I cannot re all of the details of conversations we've had that she felt was important. She is a very astute business woman who is always in control of her emotional content except for when it comes to me. Well, last night, because I failed to re the conversation subject that I alluded to just previously, and because I seemed to laugh about it, she became upset to the point of tears. She was angry and hurt because she thought I was laughing at her and flauting her feelings for me. Nothing could be further from the truth. I made light of the situation because honestly I was very embarrassed because I forgot what we talked about. Now here emotional walls are back up and I'm on the outside of those walls. I'd like to gain some advice from anyone about how to handle this, especially if the ladies here on the forum would be so kind as to weigh in with their thoughts. Thank you much. penpals dating
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