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I turned it over to her and it was up to her to decide what she wanted. I imagine she had fears opening up to someone who wanted time from her but also it went against her ethics. I wanted her to know I was not a crazy who was gonna cause issues I just needed a friend. I had laid it all out for her to think about, turned and walked away there was nothing left for me to say. My immediate future was in her hands, although I figured that I would survive if she said no I also knew I would feel a sense of rejection. Rejection was nothing new to me but it wasn't much fun to experience, I suppose it would help me to grow and become stronger. I also realized that if it happened I would lick my wounds and that it was just no, not a prison sentence. I would just do what I probably should in the first place and find a professional to talk to. But I have a tendency to take the easy way and I had already achieved a semblance of trust with this relationship and didn't want to travel that path again if I could avoid it! I didn't want to seem desperate but I suppose in a way I was because I had no one to talk to and I knew that my growth required changes and that included trusting another, talking and sharing me. I wished for someone who appreciated the 13 year old that ached to come out and play and life. I wanted from life the ability to just be me without any issues. I didn't have a clue what the response would be I just knew I needed to try, because I knew what I had seen and felt. I knew there was some sort of loneliness there and my arrogance wanted to take it away. My arrogance wanted to make her laugh and feel the freedom I sometimes felt. The sense of freedom that didn't matter to me what anyone thought, I was gonna sing and dance! I was gonna joke and goof off. I needed to be around people like me so I went to a dance, plus I thoroughly enjoyed watching the women there. Standing there smiling at the thoughts going through my head I noticed someone come in the door. I couldn’t believe neither my eyes nor my heart as she walked in the door. She was alone, I was so amazed. I knew it must have taken a lot for her to walk through those doors. Mexican Hat Utah women looking for affairsI wish I was straight! < nghtwtchr9 > I've been thinking about this for a while now and I really wish I was straight. Why, because maybe then I can find a that wants the same things I want from live and is willing to work at those things. I want the, the house with the white pickett fence, and the family dog. I want the family minivan, the family cookouts in the back yard and the family vacations in the. I want to have the "birds bees" talk with my or daughter and give the "if you ever touch my daughter talk" to her first boyfriend. I want the stress of raising 1 or more teenagers. I want all that stuff but it seems that there aren't too men who share my sentiment. Can someone answer why is that? men are constantly fighting for the same rights of our heterosexual counterparts but I don't where guys are really embrassing those rights. I still and talk to guys who are only into the superficial; physical attractiveness, clothes, sex. don't get me wrong those things have a place in everyones lives but as I've gotten older my priorities have changed and of the guys I talk to, friends and lovers, still seem stuck and by choice. I could do like some have done and a woman and pretend for a few years in order to experience those things for a few years but that's not who I am and it's so unfair to all those involved. One of my female friends suggested I stop waiting on finding someone to do this with and just do it myself. So, I'm in the process of trying to adopt as a single person and starting to have those things even if its as a single parent. I was just wondering what other people's thoughts and experiences have been regarding this subject. Cuz no one gives a rat's ass about your self loathing/whiny expression of unhappiness. You seem like a very mentally damaged wanting to be STRAIGHT *rolls eyes* NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jewish dating sites
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