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Lying to myself I keep telling myself that it will get easier and that every day I am getting a bit stronger. For the record I am getting really good at lying to myself. Waking up around 6, as I do nearly every morning these days; my head full of you and the foolish notion that I might hear a certain sound in the distance, I knew I should probably start my day. After all, once memories of us start flooding my brain, sleep is a distant memory. Since I knew that you would not be walking through my door and needing some music , I turned on my phone only to hear a song about needing you now (a song I have avoided at all costs for months). It was then that I buried my head in my pillow..funny after all these months it still smells like you. Hell, I even put Diet Coke in my drink this morning, as if it was the most normal action in the world. That in itself should speak volumes about where my mind is at. To be honest, I knew then that I was going to have to give into the memories and let the day take me where it will. Perfect mornings, first kisses and lunches among the just to name a few. Missing the catch in your breath when you move in for a kiss, the way your hands fist in my hair when I am next to you and the way your eyes always see right into my soul to name a few more. Every moment, stressful, tense and even having convos that neither you or I ever want to repeat are waging inside my head today and I can't shut them off..I suppose I should stop trying to hide from them. Yesterday, I watched you drive by continually. I saw you glancing my way and looking like a hot mess in shades, your strong arms glistening in the sun. You should know I wanted you to stop. I wanted to run to the door and into your arms. I hate this. I hate all of it. You think I walked away, I think you walked away..when in reality neither of us went anywhere. I love you and I miss you. You have no idea how much I want to hear your voice telling me that we are going to figure all of this out. Ran
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I am going to follow up on the discussion Nuska and O are having about community and spam and lack critical mass of *normal* (not am I bi if I like getting sucked off, or OMG I am attracted to a girl) posters here. Do you guys think this would get better if we were listed on the main. Or would it get worse? I am really trying to be part of some community here, but of course being bi and really poly just annoys the hell out of w4w — sometimes I think I am just too weird for any community. Qufo is kind of fun, but mostly men. But it is a community and an openminded one even if insulting each other seems to be a favorite sport it is in the spirit of fun. I live in SF and know plenty of people who are darn alternative in their lifestyle and do not blink at mine, but it is easy to forget what a little bubble I am in in terms of rest of the US, or world. I think being bi is such a great thing. It is to be able to experience both men and women on the level of intimate relationship and one would *think* there would be a large and happy community, but really we are always on the fringes. tonight in target off Goring-on-ThamesI'm the bad person because I genuinely care about someone? Does life stop at marriage? I know know-of plenty of people that cheat on their spouses male female. I don't know too people over the age of 30 whose parents are still married or have been completely faithful throughout their relationship. So, two people are going to be unhappy to keep 1 person in a safe bubble. You think it's better that someone stays with their spouse whether or not they are happy in the relationship? people or for the wrong reasons if somewhere in time they actually find someone they are more compatible they should stay in their marriage because they said "I do"? No wonder why there are so miserable people in this world. People trying to hold on to something no matter how unhappy they are, because they made a verbal commitment. Had I married anyone I was ever in a relationship with I would be a very unhappy person today. There were plenty of "almost", but it was like holding on to something just because of years invested. It was more draining than it was fulfilling. ONE LIFE: make it a happy 1. STOP trying to hold on to people because of the time that's been invested. FIND your own happiness, because you ONLY have 1 life.. YOUR life! Your life does not belong to your spouse, you were an individual before you met I understand the hesitance when there are involved, but if not it is no different from any other relationship (just 1 which bounds you legally). Relationships are relationships. They come from the heart, just because you someone does not mean it is forever does not mean that you be in with that person forever. I've come to the realization that it is those of you that were burned, spurned bitter that are replying to these post. I you find happiness someone out there really meant for you. You have invested years in an unfulfilling relationship, STOP trying to think that those were years wasted longing to be with someone who does not feel the same for you. Move on. Find let it happen. I let what happen, happen. I profess my feelings upon her departure, let her know that if she decides where she is moving is not for her, she can always come back I be there female seeking man
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sex in Jennings Louisiana tx In the last few days- Surprise party for my 41st birthday- (well, kind of a surprise, my 4 year old said the night before, "Mama, tomorrow we're all going to jump out and yell surprise at you!" that gave me a hint-)which was awesome- great friends, fun times, it was sweet, felt very loved- my partner went ALL out, with a rotating disco ball bubble machine pinata (which I wouldn't let us break because it was TOO cute I am saving it it is a pastel unicorn!!!!) and Pin the Tail on the Donkey which was intersting to watch a bunch of older folks (and my and a couple friends of theirs) play and it was lovely- she got me my dream BBQ*)*)! and then having quality romantic time and seeing and then today Watsonville pride, the girls I marched- and then my spiritual retreat thingie for several hours- *sigh* ALL I want to do is READ and binge on Doritos cottage cheese *yum*)!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes all, - dtf tonight with nsa south beach prudence 72143 pussy
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