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what you seem to have are several problems here. 1. He isn't working and you want for him to find a job. 2. Your self esteem, his possible addiction. As for number one, talk to him and discuss possible job options for him. Do you know if he is or isn't applying for jobs between porn stops? Have you offered to help him with his resume or cover letters? Would that help? If you aren't comfortable with being a one income family, you need to talk about it right away. If you feel that he isn't contributing in other ways (like cleaning etc) then talk about it right away. As for the porn, he have an addiction, or he be having a difficult time finding free porn that gets him off. If you aren't interested in sex, you can't blame him for needing a sexual release. Are you thinking there is something more he could do to get you in the mood? When you are in the mood, does he turn you down? I personally don't have a problem with my husband looking at porn, so as our sex life doesn't suffer. I'm know he finds me attractive and isn't going to leave me because of something he saw in porn once. He married me because he wants to spend his life with me, not a porn. Would it help you to remember that you are his reality, and he chose you? Porn can be an escape, especially if he hasn't found more productive things to do (like volunteer work, projects around the house, job hunt). You aren't ugly or unattractive unless you convince yourself otherwise. I understand how you would have hurt feelings, but be sure to seperate the different issues here. any real woman out there 20 New Brockton Alabama 20professional help with this. Not the break-up, but the addiction. It clearly interferes with your life. You don't want to be alone with porn forever, do you? I don't think self-help books are going to cut it, at least not until you have a clear path to take to getting healthier. As as the big part of you want to "give into it" you're not even close. Your other subject how do you know you're not right for the person you're with you're together years and you don't feel close enough to share the thing that is ruining your life. That's not intimacy. You can tell her the truth, that you're not ready for an LTR. don't be cruel and string this girl along because you don't want to hurt her. You know that's bullshit and leads nowhere so just up and break up. Instead of picturing her crying and hurt because you broke up, imagine her crying because you acted on your lust and cheated. And she then finds out that for years you've been obsessing on other women. She finds your porn stash. There's your real hurt, the kind that lasts a time. You need to fix some things before you can even consider a relationship. Please find a way to a professional and get this off your chest and start to fix it. together dating
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