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only now real good fuck since the death of my husband. They just didn't compare but were fine relationships on their own. One lasted 3 years, another a year. I am NOT living in the past but the past is a part of me and I won't deny it. Because we had something special, I celebrate that specialness. people look for what I had with my hubby, few find it. If I wish to keep loving and remember my dead husband, it is not your business, nor is it a sick thing. My counselor during my time of deep grief encouraged me to put it down in writing, to remember, to keep living and go forward, but what I had also. Though at this time I am not in a term relationship, I am not without friends or even an occasional date. You arm chair psychologist only a small part of my life that I portrait here, nothing more.
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