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I was thinking of safe words during most of this. It's my own style, but she withdraws consent all sexual activity stops at least enough to renegotiate the activity. Doesn't matter if I've already fucked her twice that evening or if I'm six inches deep in her at the moment; she can withdraw consent at any point. sphynx' 'unauthorized orifice' comment rings true here someone might consent to some sexual contact but that doesn't give you license to do whatever you want. An amusing side note on her barebacking comment every sex worker I've known guides the guy into home plate, not to help with the inevitable first assignation fumbling around but to insure the still has his condom on. A very few guys try to put a small tear in the condom so it peels back when he enters her so any sex worker who's worth her fee knows where the -'s hands are and keeps an eye on Mr. Happy from the time she puts a condom on him until he's no longer in a position to damage the condom. If I'd had drinks at the bar with a woman and she invited me back to her house sex would be high on my list of expectations but I don't always get what I expect. Even in the worst case where she's a complete prick tease when she says no that means no. Sorta OT but I prefer to use a pair of safe words one that means "I'm getting close to my limit so be careful" and one that means "stop what you're doing immediately". Traffic light colors work well for this ;-) looking for a friend in tangiHe was 29 when you married him, you were 19, just entering adulthood. He left his mommma's house and molded you into his new momma. And you took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. He does the bare minimum to justify his existence. He "keeps an eye on the -" (when he's able to tear himself up from his video games now and then), while you manage all of the adult responsibilities, at work and at home, alone. You come home and do all the housework. You enable a dependent in a -'s body, and even worse, your are watching this piss-poor example set by both you and your husband. Your examples teach them that mothers do everything, and fathers are deadbeat users. If you don't break the pattern for yourself, do it for them. Now, if he managed homemaking like a SAHD who took the job seriously, that would be honorable. He's not even pretending to. You know it, he knows it, and sadly, the know it, too. What, did you fall asleep in the tanning bed or something? Forget that marriage is supposed to be a partnership? How can you say he's always been a freeloader, but you him? What's to? You've created a monster. He feels entitled to ride on your back and live off of your labors for the duration. He won't change his behavior until you change yours. You want real change? Set a deadline. Put him on notice. Either he gets a job in one month, and he remains employed, or he packs up his things (minus the video games) and moves in with his momma. You didn't sign up for that job, and you quit. He should understand that concept. He quit working a time ago. Or, you can go on with business as usual. how the lasts as your resentment grows. If you choose that option, cross your fingers, and the are smart enough to imprint on better examples of what, marriage, and parenting can be, and should be. Sorry to whack you upside the head, but you know these things already. It's only a question of whether you're ready to act on it. private sex
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