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Just show her this: It's a story about a local girl who went on a carefree zipline ride, got a cut, and because of a really nasty flesh-eating bacteria, has now lost both hands and feet to amputations. Her attitude and positive attitude in the face of adversity is inspiring. Yeah, chemo and leukemia sucks. But it's behind her, and she should be thanking God that she's still here to have dirty clothes to pick up, and is able to bend over and pick 'em up off the floor instead needing someone to change her diaper in a hospital bed. THIS is the reason why so much time and effort was spent on getting her better so she could have a "normal" life. And in normal life, people pick up their own clothes. pick a subject to chat about
Personally, I like to read my husband's texts and the websites he's visited on his phone because it's interesting to me and is a good conversation starter. I don't look because I suspect he's got someone on the side or something. He doesn't care that I look, and in fact, often hands me his phone to read conversations. My point wasn't that trustless snooping is good, but rather that IMO, anybody who is going to get really bent out of shape because you looked at their phone or something is *probably* hiding something. But I agree, if it's a severe lack of trust that caused her to look at the phone in the first place, then it doesn't really matter what she found, the relationship isn't. bbw needing a massageI make no excuse for spnynx's gender bias, as I've yet to any indication of it. Beware that eye roll, didn't your mother ever warn you they might get stuck that way? @@ So, forgiving her means giving her a free pass? She cheated must be taught a lesson? If he doesn't divorce her, she'll never learn? So, it's a public service? Well, anyone issuing a hard spanking should make damned sure their own hands are clean. He continually overrode her pleas for his time, giving himself a free pass to be for 1 year, starting 2 months after marriage, after 4 years of co-mingling families. Break that down by weeks, days, minutes/seconds; I'll leave the dramatics to a courtroom, or someone who loves math/has a calculator. Sphynx argued that his actions were tantamount to a bait switch. His DW repeatedly articulated her objections; he overrode her. It's as if changing her status from SO to spouse actually devalued her standing in his eyes. In frustration, she turned elsewhere, which was % wrong. But to be fair, he played a part in the harsh, but not unpredictable blow back. He didn't cause it, but he was a factor, and he owns this, as she owns her shit, which is a good start. He thought he had her tied down. She wasn't going anywhere. He could throw it in her face (and probably did) that he supported her in her dream, so she owed him. I say, that's apples oranges. Hers required far less time, she probably tended to the while doing it. It's hardly the same thing. Their top priority is to tend to the relationship, like 2 birds nurturing defending their nest, especially when little ones are nestled within. Marriage is no free pass. If anything, the stakes are even higher. Have they reached a point of no return? The OP's is that they can save this. You say they not only can't, but shouldn't. NOW who's showing a bias? I'm with the OP in hoping they can. Counselors follow THE CLIENT'S lead, not their own personal feelings/biases. Ignoring your SO. Bad. Ignoring your spouse. Worse. A wo/- is like a garden. Tend to it, it'll be more than happy to feed you. Ignore it, it'll get away from you. female seeking man
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