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And this sounds to me like it is one of those cases. Actually, not selfish at all, if you both want different things and he is using guilt to hold you back from what you want, then he is the one being selfish. If he strung you along suggesting he was headed towards marriage, only to say no once you were to emotionally involved to just up and leave, then he is using you. Up and leave, well get things in order for a soft landing first, if it is an attachment relationship, and it sounds like it is to you, you are going to need some healing. Find a safe place for yourself, be kind to yourself, do all the things you did not have time for because you spent that time on him. When you feel safe and strong, take your new bad self out and start dating again. Best of luck dinners dates dancingDepending on where you live, there are local BDSM groups. They often have social get togethers ed "munches" and some of the more organized groups have websites and do skill seminars or conferences. If you e "bdsm checklist", there are a bunch on line. Find one you like, print it out, and both of you do it and trade. People with interests in the dom/sub stuff are individuals, and everyone likes things differently. It helps to have a common place to start talking. I'm a switch. One of my subs would write a journal. That helped me get feedback (she was shy about direct talking a lot of times) about what she liked/didn't like/tolerated because I enjoyed it/never wanted to do safeword city. Since I couldn't read minds and what does being a sub mean to her? There is so much variance out there. that helps! Feel free to post questions or read archives on this forum. beautiful blonde ladies
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