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I read here a lot but am quiet. Most times I good advice. Scenario: Two, been together for 12yrs age difference is 9yrs between us. Ups and downs. Lots of downs. Few yrs ago we split for a year and a half… his drinking became too much and escalated to much more. After a year and a half we got back together. It’s been good; he has tried super hard to be the person I want and need (and the -) for the past. I know his past and understand his struggles. (even before we were together) Problems or feelings that i have now: I reverting back to old ways. Doing less and less with the family, less and less around the house and less and less does he pay attention to me. Slowly drinking has crept back into the picture. I've pointed it out and he's tried to squash it but still drinks. I feel as tho he only wants to drink, not spend time with the family, not do normal things. Like go to the park, go to events in town, have fun together and not drink. I feel as though I do 95% of all the work around the house and with the. We both work full time jobs outside of the home. I tell him these things and he says I’m crazy and he’s a completely different person than he was before. Is that true, yes it is true, but i how easily this can slip back to the bad place it was before. I kinda feel like he is selfish and only thinks abt himself and not anybody. I voice this, and once again I’m looking thru the looking glass that is old and not of new. I tell him abt other areas i feel he is super selfish in and he says "Deal with it" basiy. Do you think that i dont give him enough credit for trying super hard, and for how far he has come and I am only focusing on the bad and not the good, or do I have legit concern? How hard is it to really forgive somebody for all their past deeds and make a new? Is it me who needs to change my outlook on our life? Maybe this is all rhetorical a nice guy looking for a friend maybe more
Well the reasons why it lasted this is really a lot of factors rolled in together, that's why it makes it harder to decide. He is almost perfect. He is very nice, considerate, caring, responsible and all that. He is also goodlooking, tall and financially stable. He is also very committed to us, loyal and very much in with me. He also doesn't drink and doesn't do. We are both home bodies and very much alike so I think we are very compatible. That's why it makes me feel that it is a HUGE mistake to leave the same time, I did try to communicate with him my feelings, I've tried to open communication in our relationship. I've always talked about it, about being alone. I didn't just tell him that last month. We have been talking about it for the past 2 years, or maybe even 3 years. He would always enumerate all the reasons why we should be together, all practical reasons really, and they seem correct and I would believe him and agree that he is right, then that's that for a while until I start talking about it again. Then the cycle begins. This cycle of agreeing then changing my mind went on and on for the past few years, it is regular, like every 2-3 months or even 6 months. Some talks would be more emotional than others. This is why I feel that I really just have to do this because this idea keeps on coming back. It is not a secret, he knows full well. His reasons are all practical and logical, my reasons are more emotional based. My reasons for wanting to be alone is because I just want to grow up. I want to be independent. I want to achieve things (on my own). I want to explore. I want to decide for my own life. I want to be free to choose (this applies to any situation) His reasons why we should stay together is because we each other, we are very compatible and we have good future plans together. We are good together. I am 36 and he is 46, btw. I am at a point right now when I really just want to make a decision once and for all and not be swayed by his reasons (which all sounds correct, by the way) I just want to end this cycle of going back and forth, of not being sure. I want to make a decision and stick to it. I feel that I am leaning towards stopping this LTR and just be alone (for a while and what happens) But just before I do that I write here coz' I want to hear what you think. Negative or Positive. find women to fuck near Allensville Kentucky illthe full context is that the poster asked you not to breed "until she is dry for a year or more." much what I said, in fact. Relatively few people popped off with the opinion you should NEVER breed. Ignore those, and pay attention to the real substance. The trouble here is that she has a serious drinking problem, even though she does not drink every day. She's a binge drinker. There are enough people here with experience either being or dating or living with alcoholics or users that we can say firmly: this is unlikely to work right now. If you break up on the grounds of her drinking, she is face to face with the consequences of her choices. She can then either continue her downward spiral because her "friends" encourage it, or wake up and decide she doesn't want to lose all at a life with you or a good life in general, and go to AA and sober up. Incidentally, this also gives you time to get over the idea that lying and snooping are easy ways to resolve your own problems in relationships. I agree that people shouldn't be lightly dismissed as easily replaceable. However, neither should they be kept in relationships with you in the presence of genuine dealbreakers. Uncontrollable binge drinking and lying are dealbreakers in most people's books. virtual dating
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