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Recognizing and admitting that you are codependent is a good thing. You know this guy is a liar and has your trust. He continues to lie to you, even if they're little lies they're still lies. Since he's not changing his behavior and you can't (NOR SHOULD YOU) get past his infidelities, this relationship is never going to progress healthily. Your friend even sees trouble. I think that your instincts that tell you that he's a risk to your future and untrustworthy are spot on. I think your idea to approach it as an addiction is a good idea. I think cutting him out of your life all at once is a good idea. I would have your friend be your "sponsor". When you feel like ing him, her instead and get support from her. Do you and your SO live together? If so, pack quickly and get out quickly, don't let it drag on and don't let him try to draw you back in with honeyed words. Distance yourself as much as you can before and after the breakup. Make sure you have a good support network of friends (or just a couple close friends) to take up your time. If you're feeling super lonely and you think you can handle the responsibility, get a low maintenance pet like a rat, fish, or maybe a cat. I think getting out of this relationship, from what you've said, is going to be a really good move on your part. Just remember, with friends and take up a hobby and maybe a pet. friends start swingers partiesYou are going into this with expectations that are FAR above reality. If you put this much pressure into a simple date ("this is the beginning of an LTR!"), no wonder she ran screaming from the room, figuratively. On-line dating is a way to MEET people. It's not a guarantee of lifelong happiness. If you just take it for what it is a on-line cocktail party then the expectations and the pressure fade and perhaps you won't sound so hideously desperate. A first date is like an open house you wander in, get influenced by the 'curb appeal', if it feels comfortable, if you could imagine yourself living there. Some houses, you know immediately aren't a good fit you don't like the low ceilings, or the deck isn't big enough, or the kitchen is older than you'd like. If it doesn't grab you, you move on to the next house. Or maybe it does grab you, but you have to take a closer look, think about it You say she is a member of Xenos are you talking about the large evangelical church in? If she has been attending since she was 19, I doubt she was putting Nine Inch Nails on a par with Christ. And the fact that you would misinterpret that tells me that you be having trouble deciphering other social cues. Or she have been awkward, too, and ended up babbling out of sheer nervousness. Let's face it, on-line dating is tough on both parties. At least she had the courtesy to answer your text instead of just blowing you off entirely that happens more often than not. Chalk it up to "one down, -X- to go" and meet someone. And for heaven's sake you're a grown. Stop pouting. It's very unattractive. dating for marriage
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