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you do it i do believe that at some point you allow your mind to go there whether it is fantasy or acting it out. It is like you know the end of the story and are dying to the finally but you won't go there yet. That is kind of two fold. One it is the your not "into" dudes aspect and that is tough to get past. And two is I wonder if subconcously once you go there do you feel it ends all that suspense and turmoil you get off on. I think the mixed emotions and questions andd skirting and touching the line adds to the excitement for you. Maybe a roll play where she makes and teaches you how to suck cock on a strap on of sorts.. be a middle ground adult ads 44851Violence is never the answer. Leave you're boyfriend, suck up the consequences to your own actions, GET THERAPY, and move on. You are ABUSIVE and you need to SEEK HELP. GET THERAPY. Do not get into another relationship until you have sussed out whatever the fuck is wrong with you to be abusive. Accept your fuck up, and instead of dwelling and wallowing and all that, go let it out to a therapist, and be honest. Also, stop getting up on BS details. You're BF being ok with you throwing shit at him, but not ok with you telling his parents, is probalby because he's embarrassed to be with someone who is capable of such (which also hints to me that this is not the first incident), he'd rather not deal with what's really going on, like he knows his parents, hence they are now filing charges. GET THERAPY. Try your school counselor first. I fear you learned this behaviour from your own parents times dating
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