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Recognizing and admitting that you are codependent is a good thing. You know this guy is a liar and has your trust. He continues to lie to you, even if they're little lies they're still lies. Since he's not changing his behavior and you can't (NOR SHOULD YOU) get past his infidelities, this relationship is never going to progress healthily. Your friend even sees trouble. I think that your instincts that tell you that he's a risk to your future and untrustworthy are spot on. I think your idea to approach it as an addiction is a good idea. I think cutting him out of your life all at once is a good idea. I would have your friend be your "sponsor". When you feel like ing him, her instead and get support from her. Do you and your SO live together? If so, pack quickly and get out quickly, don't let it drag on and don't let him try to draw you back in with honeyed words. Distance yourself as much as you can before and after the breakup. Make sure you have a good support network of friends (or just a couple close friends) to take up your time. If you're feeling super lonely and you think you can handle the responsibility, get a low maintenance pet like a rat, fish, or maybe a cat. I think getting out of this relationship, from what you've said, is going to be a really good move on your part. Just remember, with friends and take up a hobby and maybe a pet. adult nursing in El-masuraLook, here's the problem: The OP has not defined the abusiveness. Is it emotional? Physical? WE don't KNOW. The OP did not appear to be panicking over her situation, but rather, reflecting on what the next steps need to be done in order to extricate herself. Everyone on here went ape-shit when she used one of the trigger words, "-", but the fact is that can take forms, of which do not place the OP in imminent danger of loss of life or injury, and can allow some deliberate action and planning, instead of just knee-jerk reaction. I know this because I am on the managing board of a respected woman's shelter where I live, and I have handled the phone s from women who ARE in fear for their lives. Someone who writes in on is not in imminent fear. I've worked thru the maze of and social services available for the women who find themselves kicked, beaten, sexually assaulted, shot at, etc, had their held hostage for their "behavior" you name it, I can probably top it. Do YOU get the 1 AM phone from a woman whose husband has locked her out of the house because he's decided she needs to be put in her place? Shelters are fine and serve a purpose, but they are a bandaid on the situation. have time limits that limit how one can stay and then what? And that's IF you can find a shelter that has space. That is our biggest challenge. I've got a list as as my arm of shelters and safehouses, and finding one with space usually require a minimum of to phone s. To tell a woman who not be in imminent peril to drop her life and go to a shelter is knee-jerk and reactionary. And if you actually READ my post instead of jumping all over it, you'll that I suggested that she contact legal aid if she can't afford an attorney. We don't KNOW what her financial situation is, ok? You are assuming that she is penniless and destitute. For all we know, she might have a better job than her husband. WE don't KNOW, ok? don't assume. You'd be surprised at the number of s we get from women whom you'd never suspect of being victims of domestic. They have nice homes, their are nice who aren't in trouble, they have jobs but there's something in their relationship that is broken. passion
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