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Felinequeen, I purchased 3 gym memberships, threw out all the bad food, and I cook several times per week. I bought books, a treadmill for the home, and even paid for a lifetime membership to weight watchers. Am I the bomb I think I am? Lets just say that if you saw the two of us together, you'd never guess we were married. Yeah, it matters, and when a person is obese, it has health consequences. Diabetes, Heart disease, Cancer, Osteporosis, and so on. On top of that, folks who are obese have less energy, and not only self esteem problems. but get treated differently. Its a fact. If I take care of myself, I expect my spouse to. I cam across a little shallow, and no doubt might have stepped on some toes. 8 years ago, I weighed lbs, and was 40. One day, sitting at my desk, I had a heart attack. It changed my life, and 6 weeks after the attack, I began a marathon training program through a local sporting goods store. 45 lbs left my body, and by 6 months, I was up to running 18 in around 3 hours. My farthest run was 23, and I was told that marathons can kill folks who have had an attack, so I did not ever do the marathon, but just completed the farthest runs. I'm 31 inches in the waist, 5'10", weigh lbs, and have little body fat for my age. 6 days a week, I'm at the gym, or riding my bicyle, or swimming. I don't have any rolls over my belt, and for 48, I'm buff. I've come a very way, and its not arrogance, its the fact that I had to overcome some adversity, and I like a challenge. Honestly, its embarrasing to my, 17,22,25 that my wife is so huge, and its embarrassing to me when I go someplace, and all these men who look like shit, and have some gal on their arm who takes care of themselves. Now, try to be romantic when the one your with has rolls of fat that below their pubic bone, and they unsnap their jeans after they eat. Men are visual, and I'll not apologize for that, as thats how I'm wired. Not taking care of ones body is a sin just like a lot of others. Blockley boy sick of virginity;-) I'm honest. But I try to not be hurtful. So unless he looks awful/inappropriate, I'm not likely to say anything. But I can almost always find one thing to compliment a guy I'm with on, and I try to focus on those things. I've noticed that when I compliment my guy, I'll the same thing (or similar clothing items) show up more often. My fave ex has this Jennings sleeve t. He was wearing it one of the first times we met, and it really looks good on him! I loved it both because he looked good, and because it reminded me of our honeymoon stage, and I'd always compliment him when he wore it. We've gotten together over drinks about 12-15 times since we broke up and probably 5 of the times he was wearing it. Last time it happened, I teased him (kindly) about it, and asked whether his gf should be worried was he trying to sweep me off my feet? And he laughed and said "You made me feel good whenever I wore it, so I wear it a lot because it makes me feel good." He also said that I always made him feel as though I was proud to have him by my side when we went places, so he'd try to pay attention to my compliments so he'd know I could be proud. Does that make sense? It's like reward-based training. (I know I get flak for this.) If you recognize and praise the things you like, you'll that more often. I find too, that as the praiser, I look more for things that I like, rather than things I don't so I overlook minor things that are non-issues that I might otherwise focus on like in his case, it'd be that he *always* wore stained black carhartts pants, never jeans, or cords, or what not. Honestly, if I'd focused on that, it would have bugged me to no end. Instead, I it as one of his quirks that make him uniquely him. Anyway. Praise is good for both people. Negativity is bad for both people. I try to set the example of what I'd like and expect from my partner, and honestly? I *-* compliments. dating websites online
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