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You still her as the authority and you the. Yes she is your mother now and forever but the dynamics of the relationship should have evolved to another level. What you are considering is the response of the, run away. You are an adult now. You owe it to her to discuss this of your perspective of the negative influence you of her behaviors. What you have been doing is taking a defensive position about your family. That is a -'s response. I am not implying you take an offensive position, you are to take up an adult position as equals and discuss this. This is not going to be easy because your mother is still in parent mode and you are still in mode. The fault is with both of you and neither of you. She as a parent did not let the leash out a little at a time, while you did not tug at the leash and expand your own independence. You might start this discussion with your thoughts on paper since you can not do this change with one bite. You need to take this a small bite at a time. She eventually needs to understand that if both of you can not show mutual respect for each other that you have no choice but to limit your daughter's exposure to her because you that your daughter is acting up with you after these visits. You need to understand that she has had her way all your life so she not or can not change overnight. It be difficult for you also to take up the adult role when you have been taking the role all your life so far. Understanding this, have with her and yourself as you two struggle to settle into this new relationship dynamics. bbc for Plainfield clean woman
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